Saturday 3 December 2011

3.12.11 X-Factor Semi-Final, Part A

Well, Kelly should be all right this week, as she'll not be called upon to vote - exactly what she wants for herself in the role of 'judge'.  It's up to us to kick out Misha this week rather than rely on 'WIMSCO', my new abbreviation to replace KR for Kelly Rowland (see key at end).  NB: Why does she insist on saying "frickin"?

Severe "Dermotitis" this week - a dance and a fucking bum wiggle!  Dire.

Misha

Why do I find myself thinking of Daffy Duck?  She doesn't half quack.  'Aaack, aaack, aaack.'  That's All Folks will do nicely.

Her delivery is nauseating - and the whooping is less attractive than a cough. 
Elf - "You're original, your autentik, you're very unique."  Thanks for that enlightenment, Elf.  I had no idea she could be described as very unique. 
TC - "This week is suited to you absolutely perfect."  Thanks, TC, for a further grammatical error - who needs the 'ly' at the end of 'perfect' anyway!
WICSCO - What shit managed to crawl and drawl its way out of her mouth I simply don't know, though I did hear her call Misha 'mamma'. (??)
TTT - "Something boring, something boring, muttered slowly, muttered slowly," said Thomas.

Amill-ya Lily, Yawl

Ain't No Mountain High Enough - (or A Song That's Been Done To Death By Everyone).  Crappy choice!  Come on, Grandma, sing along!  This is worse than the "Seaside Special" programmes from the seventies, on Saturdays at 6.15pm!

Elf - "Everybody in Middlesbrough needs to pick up the phone and vote for you.  You remind me of Xtina Aguilera, Kelly Clarkson.  You killed it."  Louis, take a pill, please!
TC - "You brought Motown to life." (but Elf just said she killed it ??)
TTT - "You keep wowing us every week."  [Except for the 4 weeks she wasn't even in the competition and was having a rest while we all got bored of the other acts - so not "every week" then, Gary!]
WICSCO - "Drawl, Drawl, amaaaay-zing".

Little Mix

The performance was okay.  Not a lot more, not a lot less.

Elf - "We've never had a girl band in the final before, but you seem to have lost your mojo; I'm not crazy on the styling, and not totally impressed.  You're going to have to pull it out of the bag on your next song."  As far as I'm concerned, a Mojo was/is a small chewy sweet. 
WICSCO - You bore me, so I cannot be bothered to quote you.
TTT - Gary, I thought that One Direction tends to swap about and two or three of them share the role of lead singer?  So, it's not essential that they elect Perrie and the others take a step back.
TC - Ignore the silly comments, as there's a lot of support for them - but please have a word in the break and get them to do better.

Marcus

Not keen on the song, but overall it was very good, as per the comments from the four judges - sorry, three judges plus Kelly Rowland.


I hope the second half is better than the first, because none of this worthy of a semi-final.


TTT = Thomas the Tank / Gary Barlow
TC = Top Cat / Tulisa Contostavlos
Elf = Louis Walsh
WIMSCO = When It Matters She Chickens Out / Kelly Rowland

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