Sunday 28 February 2016

28.2.16 Cheryl Has One Direction




It seems there is no end to Cheryl's bed-hopping, and name changing.  Her one direction is the next bloke.  I wonder who is next on the growing list of Mrs/Miss/Ms Cheryl-Cole-Tweedy-Fernandez-Versini-Payne [CCTFVP].

When CCTV dispensed with 'Tweedy', she hung on to 'Cole' for dear life, despite ejecting the oddly-behaved Ashley Cole.  His name was seemingly more attractive than the bloke himself.

Jean-Bernard Fernandez-Versini had, in Cheryl's view, a name to die for, and so it was that they married somewhere-or-other.  Thus, uPVC inflicted upon us the mouthful that further encouraged us all to simply refer to her (if we had to) as 'Cheryl'.

Rihanna, Beyonce, Madonna, Lorde, to name but a few, don't need a second name.  Cheryl, on the other hand, is expecting us all to use a fucking Rolodex to contain her numerous entries.




Sadly not all of the One Direction chaps can find love as openly.  H&L are obviously having to delay their public launch.  I suspect they wish they could go back to their earlier days.




Oh well, I am sure they will come clean at some point.  For now, I have enough to amuse myself with, as TCP snuggles up with Liam for lovey-dovey pics on social media.

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28.2.16 Weather Bollocks




Generally a quiet picture

Rain slipping its way into northern England

Some punchy old showers

One or two spits and spots of rain

Fresh temperatures

Top temperatures are mild, 16 or 17

The weather will be trundling along

Rain is set to trundle its way north

Sleety snow

Pesky showers

Rain knocking on the door

Showers turning wintry

Some winteriness on the hills


These are all quotes or extracts from weather forecasts, in which presenters talk bollocks, and display no competence in English let alone meteorology.

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Saturday 27 February 2016

27.2.16 Begging Charts




Unfortunately things have got out of hand.  There are of course many worthy causes for which money might be raised, and I have little doubt that there are multiple charities already in existence for each and every cause you may come up with.  With 165,000 registered charities in the UK, the word 'Charity' is no longer a useful term in any regard at all.  Someone doing something good for charity is not necessarily a useful undertaking these days, nor is it necessarily as charitable as you might at first think.

The vast majority of 'charities' are in fact little more than entities wanting a tax break, displaying a minimal basis of attempting something good or useful as a qualification for their status.  The uncontrolled expansion of the market is nuts, and unlike the world of business and commerce, charities preserve themselves ahead of any thought for the cause.  Where are the mergers?  Where is the cost-saving in the charity world?

Anyway, the big ones are now intent on treating donations as transactions, with no focus on the fund raising tactics other than 'playing the numbers'.  This is evidenced so well by the TV adverts, which of course cost a fortune.  I personally have little desire to encourage them to fritter a fortune on adverts which are seemingly justified as soon as the charity concerned gets a penny more than the outlay on them.  Ludicrous.  This is similar to someone wanting to raise money for saving the Lesser Spotted Guacamole via sponsorship, but the cost of the trip to Peru has to be taken out of the money raised.  Basically, pay for someone's holiday!

The government need to revisit the charitable benefits regime, and encourage some consolidation in the sector.  Cost savings through mergers would reduce wastage massively, and there would be much more going to the good causes. As things stand, it's a fucking farce.  They are all competing with each other to vie for our money, instead of there being a combined effort to improve the percentage of money that is available actually going to do good, rather than simply pay for offices, staff, cars, visits and numerous jobs.  This 'big business' then gets breaks to clutter high streets with stores, which are staffed by volunteers.

I suggest that if there are, say, 50 charities for a cause, then there are probably 50 sets of offices, photocopiers, phone systems, stationery cupboards, etc.  If there were a single entity for that good cause, then I guarantee less would be wasted on running costs.  The whole thing is a mess.

The real disgrace is the uncontrolled use of the word 'Charity'.  These are businesses!

Of the adverts touting good causes, some want a lot, some less but on a rolling basis.  Anyway, here are some of the adverts that of course need to be paid for by your DD or text.




Salvation Army - £19.00
Dogs Trust - £5.00
Childline - £5.00
Wateraid - £2.00 per month
Samaritans - £5.00
Save the Children - £2.00 per month
Macmillan - £5.00
Unicef - £3.00
Blue Cross For Pets - £5.00
British Heart Foundation - £3.00 per month
Great Ormond Street Hospital - £3.00 per month
NSPCC - £3.00 per month
Sponsor a Donkey Sanctuary - £2.00 per month
Actionaid - £5.00
Guide Dogs For The Blind - £1 per week to 'sponsor a puppy'


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Saturday 6 February 2016

6.2.16 ASDA - End of the Line


At the end of the end aisle, there is an assortment of items that have come to the end of their life.  None of the items is actually beyond its sell by date, but all of them are clearly "end of line" items.  I had pushed the trolley around the boring route, reaching at the far end of the store the oddments that made up the weird selection, and noted the red and white stickers affixed to each item.  On the bottom shelf of the three I clocked some brandy.


Offer of the Day

I considered that I might like to acquire the bottle, that came with a nice tube.  I inspected the sticker to establish the level of the price reduction, and was instantly left standing aghast.  The cunt with the price gun was clearly a fucking pacifist.

WAS: £10.00

NOW £9.90

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