Richmond
On Tuesday, I cooked twelve Richmond Skinless Sausages. After trying to eat one, I had to stop, as the glorified paste was awful. I concluded that there could have been an improvement made by the manufacturers, by making them both skinless and sausageless.
Soaps
Why the fuck do the TV channels obsess over showing programmes that involve one set of idiots from a Soap against another equally dim set? Every fucking game show is hijacked; naf quizes are devised; lame versions of shit programmes are served up. Usually most helpings are "for charity", as if this excuses the useless level of creativity in television. If it's not Coronation Street V Emmerdale, it's Hollyoaks V Rosie & Jim.
Just What We Didn't Need
I saw a trailer last night, for a double helping (forgive the pun) of cookery programmes next Wednesday, on Channel 4. Just when the whole fucking country is overrun by cookery programmes, and the nation is collectively obese as fuck, we have two extra versions of how to cook. "How To Cook Like Heston" - what the hell do we need this shit for? This is followed by "The Fabulous Baker Brothers". If anyone hasn't got a life of any description, and needs to be topped up with information, presented by arseholes, on stuff in the kitchen, then feel free to tune in.
Celebrities
Why does there have to be a 'celebrity' version of everything ever devised for TV? Most of the celebrities are trying to bolster their precarious 'careers' and are so in-your-face they are nauseating. Sorry, but if you're a supposed celebrity, that's fine - just fuck off and be one, and do whatever it is that made you one (in your own eyes even if not in mine). But do not presume that I give a cuntin' fuck about your talents as a chef when you ride a fucking bike for a living, or might have come third in the Team GB Cuntathlon [consisting of the 400m Pedalo, 100m Pogo Stick, Kite Flying, the Macrame Relay, Darts, Cribbage, Blancmange Eating, Skipping, Pacman, Whistling, Rounders, Sofa Buying and Synchronised Semaphore].
Send It
I have abandoned attempting to purchase anything from this company. It used to be a good alternative to Amazon, but on principle, I think I'll pass. I discovered a week ago that there's a sting-in-the-tail when you fill your shopping cart. The seven DVDs for £25 was excellent value, albeit that I was looking for bargains rather than latest releases. I expected to pay up to £5 delivery, but was stunned when £14 cuntin' quid popped up. £2 per item? No chance. Click. "Keep It" is the new name, I think.
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