Caffeine
Can someone please explain to me the weird obsession with putting caffeine in things that don't need caffeine in them? The most popular target for this silly pastime is currently shampoo. Apparently millions of bottles are sold each year in Germany, and that is supposed to be a basis for British people to adopt the product. Well, excuse me, but just because it's popular in Germany, there's no reason to suppose we want anything to do with it. There were lots of things once popular in Germany, many which were hardly worthy of extolling or exporting, so I'd suggest we ought not to bother copying this fad. Alpecin and Plantur 39 are best ignored; as if we need any more bloody caffeine in our systems.
Well, actually, there's a chap from San Francisco who thinks we do indeed need more, as he's developed a shaving cream that contains the fucking stuff. So, we can now absorb caffeine to the equivalent of a can of Coke while shaving - and then probably having a coffee. Fucking madness. However, madder than the concept is the price: £5 for just 85g.
Martin Skrtel
Please can someone explain why the fuck the letter 'e' is needed in this bloke's name? Having dispensed with any requirement for a vowel between the 'k' and the 'r', it seems ludicrous then to bother with the 'e' when the format would surely be 'Skrtl' for consistency. The reader already has to accommodate the shortage of a vowel to get to the mid-point of the surname, so it's not much hardship to maintain the approach to reach the end. Come to think of it, why is Martin not spelled "Mrtin" then? This would maintain consistency with "Skrtel", although as I've mentioned, I reckon it should actually be "Skrtl", meaning a forename of "Mrtn".
Whatever the merits of the spelling, there is one thing of which we can all be certain: Mrtn Skrtl will without fail manage to foul an opponent at every single corner kick.
Lineker or Harry Hill?
Please can someone explain why we need to pay Gary Lineker £40,000 per week? As far as I am concerned, that's fucking ludicrous, and typical of the BBC wasting money. Since when did hosting a football programme become so complicated? Surely we can manage with just about anyone in the seat. Hansen is similarly surplus to requirements at that level of pay. It all reminds me of how You've Been Framed was once upon a time completely shit, because ITV insisted on having less content and a studio presence from Beadle, or later on, Lisa Riley. With Harry Hill, the commentary is enough. How about Harry taking over the presenting/commentating on Match of the Day?
Postage & Packing
Can someone explain why there is such resentment at having to pay delivery charges when ordering online? I am struggling to understand why this should be so.
P&P, or 'shipping' as it's often called, is a charge that tends to grate on the buying public. Whilst online sales have grown massively in recent years, there's been a corresponding annoyance aimed at charges for delivery. Why do people think it costs fuck all to deliver things to them? Their preparedness to pay a few quid is limited. If an online purchase of something for £25 has an associated delivery charge of £5, there's a major issue and the sale is in jeopardy. "The cheek of it!" seems to be the collective outcry, as the retailer charges 20% of the purchase value for delivery. "I'm not spending £5 when the goods only cost £25" is the usual rant.
The outrage of the shoppers is amusing considering they have in many cases most likely posted friends and relatives Christmas cards. Let's assume just 2nd Class postage costs for this - ie. 50p. So, as long as we are not talking large letter, Joe Public is happy enough to spend 50p in getting a 10p card delivered. So, fifty Christmas cards (value of £5) cost £25 to send - and that's okay!
I think this demonstrates the lunacy of any moaning about delivery charges for online shopping. It's okay to spend five times the cost of the goods when sending a card, but it's apparently outrageous to be expected to pay just a fifth of the price of the goods to receive things. In mathematical terms, if it's okay to pay for sending cards, then the price for this delivery should be £125.
Honours
What is the justification for dishing out unwarranted awards by the hundreds. About three-quarters of them are simply irrelevant. The New Year Honours list contained 1195 names; yes, that many people have been given a gong - in most cases for doing their fucking jobs. Whilst many of the public who received some recognition for valuable local input will not be high earners at all, and deserving of an honour, there are hundreds of well-paid fuckers who simply do their flexi-time on councils and in quangos, amassing dosh and pension arrangements while achieving little, and certainly no more than their job descriptions require of them. It's time we simply stopped giving out benefits to friends of those in power, and doling out silly awards to business people is particularly pathetic.
Media Studies
Here are a few questions for students to ponder, while gaining a 'qualification' that is not worth much.
Which is worse:
a) The BBC repeatedly repeating repeats?
or
b) The BBC's repeated repetition of repeats?
...
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