Sunday, 26 January 2014

26.1.14 Todd On Ice - Ashley On Something Else!


LAST WEEK

I simply could not be bothered to create anything for DOI last week.  It was a wasted week, leading to the delayed departure of Todd Carty, a no doubt nice bloke who should not have been on screen, let alone on ice.  The result of last week's deplorable result was our frustration at having to endure 10 people skating last Sunday just so that Todd could go home at the end of it.  I had some paint in the shed that I could have applied to a door or skirting board, and watched drying.

As for the pain endured before Todd left, it was mostly exemplified by Ashley Roberts, with her useless comments on the skaters.  Luckily she was not invited to comment on a couple.

"There was a lot going on in that routine girlfriend - good job."

"I love that you feel more centred this week; you didn't throw away any movement."

"I love a little bit of booty pop; it was a good job."

"You looked like you were having fun.  It is a tough competition; you have to up your game."

"That was extra spicy and delicious."

"Todd - yey!  You had fun.  You went out there and committed to having fun."

"You've come back wanting it.  Watch your shoulders just a smidge."

"You had a lot of fun, having a giggle.  I had a lot of fun and enjoyed it."

Ashley was not the only one with noteworthy comments, albeit for different reasons.  Instead of complete drivel, Jason tends to opt for cutting remarks, such as the comment to Gareth Gates:

"You are on the forgettable side of playing too safe."

This was eminently better than Phillip Schofield's lame attempt at humour, with:

"If you don't want Gates to be shown the door, you need to vote for him."

I think the commentator got a bit carried away, though, when he came out with his own view regarding Todd Carty:

"He wasn't even in the skate off last week; he shocked the skating world."

I somehow think the 'skating world' is not confined to one small rink where Todd was proving rather brilliantly that he cannot skate and should not ever be linked with the 'skating world'.

THIS WEEK

Less entertainment on offer this week.  It might be that I'm getting bored with the whole thing - not surprising seeing as all the contestants have done this before, generally finishing high up.  As a result, there's no visibility of anyone actually getting much better.  It simply isn't working as entertainment.  The fact that there are nine left means I am shuddering at the number of weeks left to go!  More importantly, I am having a near fit about having to endure so many more weeks of the totally pointless Christine Bleakley.




Ashley Roberts Airhead Masterclass in Comments

"I feel like you did up the bar a bit; you had a lot of fun with it."
"Aaaarghhhhhuuurrrggghhhhhhh."
"Giving me some booty poppin."
"Good job."
"This style translated so nice."  [Not 'nicely', then?]
"It was a fun start; you came alive tonight."
"You were brilliant, baby; well done. luv."

Jason's One-liner

"You're about as 'street' as Sesame Street."

Thank heavens for Hayley (38 points) and then Ray (40 points) !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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