The Jump
Is there no end to the same old format being used for television programmes. Splash! could so easily have been called 'The Dive', and it seems Channel 4 couldn't resist a similar offering under the name of 'The Jump'. Here we have so called 'celebrities' jumping, and we are supposed to be entertained by this bollocks. I won't be watching. My life is too short to fit in another set of wasters competing and hoping for our votes - or begging for them.
Why the fuck do I want to see Sinitta on my screen, let alone another ex-Pussycat Doll. An ex-cricketeer is NO BASIS for a claim to be a 'celebrity'. Davina McCall will present us with tosh, and she'll do so in the style of all the other shit that she's presented. Other twats on the show include Amy Childs and Anthea (WTF?) Turner. A singer (and I use that term loosely) from 5ive is included. I note that Anthea, Sinitta and Laura Hamilton have all done Dancing On Ice in the past; what a merry-go-round.
I would not be surprised to see The Hop and The Skip being devised for airing on Channel 5 i the coming months. Maybe the useless cunts from The Jump can downgrade and plead for votes on these less demanding ventures.
The Great British Dick Off
Is anyone watching the shit on BBC2, about painting and decorating? Me neither. It's not actually called The Great British Dick Off, which is of course me being silly by linking the obsession within the TV world for using 'Great British' in the title of programmes, with the name of one of the people involved, Tom Dyckhoff. Another cheap programme churned out for us to bite fingernails at while texting/voting. Still, while this shit is on screen, Mary Berry is kept off air!
The Taste
I was in the kitchen with Mrs MWSC at 12.30pm today when without any use of the remote, the television (which had been on standby) suddenly came on. This spookiness was soon forgotten because Channel 4 was the one on screen, and The Taste was playing, much to our consternation. The few minutes that The Taste was left to waste (see what I did?) proved to us beyond any doubt that Nigella is a pretentious waste of space, and that the tired format did nothing but reinforce our views that the subjective comments from judges are not worth a spotted dick. As for the pronunciation of "Michelin", I simply shuddered as though I'd downed an ice-cold Metz.
Other Senses
Is there going to be a programme called The Smell next? Maybe perfume experts can sniff things and see how well they do. I dare say that poor taste might prevail on Channel 5, and The Touch could perhaps be a viable format. With so many celebrities and politicians in the firing line these days for inappropriate behaviour, there is surely no shortage of candidates to participate.
The Voice
I reckon this could be improved massively with a slight change - the dropping of the letter 'o'. Participants displaying their skills at various vices could be a bit more entertaining and a chair-turn.
What's Left?
Well, we've had (in effect) the following, albeit with a slight change in name here and there -
The Voice
The Jump
The Skate
The Dive
The Dance
The Taste
The Cake
The Cook
The Kitchen
The Arctic
The Jungle
The Cube
The Chase
The X-Factor
So, aside from The Hop, The Skip , The Smell and The Touch, what's left? How about -
The Cunt
The format is simple; bring out a few people and we vote for who one is the biggest cunt on display. That would be awesome, and the mother of all competitions! Lots of heats, and the grand final would be fantastic. I suppose the name of the show could in theory be changed to C-Factor, or Britain's Got Cunts, but I like the simplicity and definition that comes from The Cunt.
...
No comments:
Post a Comment