18.1.14 Splash! Week 3 Pish

There was a distinct lowering of standards this week ("Is that even possible?" I hear you ask) with the quotes and input being at times pathetic.

Vernon managed a pointless and dire question, when he asked Penny Mordaunt:

"How does this experience differ to the House of Commons?"

Obviously it was grammatically shit, and he should have said, "differ from", although wholly better would have been to say fuck all.  Sadly he didn't shut up.  In reference to Dan Osborne's small leopard skin trunks, he announced:

"Tess, I am not buying those trunks."

Gabby: was not immune from talking shit, and with a stupid grin on her face, told us:

"The atmosphere is red hot tonight."  No it fucking isn't, luv.

Danielle Lloyd introduced herself, not as "the one who abused Shilpa Shetty on Big Brother, but luckily got away with it and Jade Goody took 95% of the flack", but with the rather more considered (if erroneous and up-her-own-arse):

"My name is Danielle Lloyd; I'm a model and TV personality."

WTF?  TV personality?  After a weak dive, all I could hear from all fucking directions was how brave she was.  Yawn.

Gabby came up with a couple more helpings of crap.

"It's the middle of the weekend; what better way to celebrate than with the Splash Dive Team."  [I can think of 49, 326, off the top of my head]

"We are building to a tense climax."  [What you and Vernon do in the break is YOUR business!]

Vernon then introduced a pathetic comment towards the end, in his question to Jo Brand:

"In the battle of the sexes, who do you think has come up trumps tonight?"  [It's NOT a male versus female competition you twat.]

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