Observations
Last week's schedule included some amusing (well, mildly, anyway) content. I recalled one of the BBC offering s at Christmas was: Call The Midwife Christmas Special, and considered that I'd never known that was the midwife's name. This was topped last week by BBC2's offering of: Monty Don's French Gardens, and I think the programme would have been rather more entertaining if he'd donned French Culottes instead. It turned out Monty donned wellington boots. In the same vein, I see that this morning on BBC2 was again a chance to see Fred Dibnah's Made In Britain. I didn't ever think he was made anywhere else.
Paul Hollywood's Pies & Puds, apparently, rather than Nuts & Bonkers. He's certainly back with his wife now after an escapade with the American woman, during which the programme makers had the working title of Paul Hollywood's Lies & Duds.
I find it off putting that Rip Off Britain is presented by Angela Rippon.
Thursday, in my guide, shows a repeat on BBC2. Tudor Monastery Farm and the comment "Ruth makes a stained glass window". Why? Rather odd content for a 'farm', I think.
Conundrum of the Week
On Friday afternoon on ITV, there is a repeat of a very old All Star Mr & Mrs, noting "With Antony Cotton, Michael Owen, and Rachel Stevens." Who the fuck is with Antony Cotton, then? The programme title is there for a reason, so I am intrigued - not enough to watch the shite, of course!
Runner-up for intrigue and nonsense goes to the listing for on BBC1 next Friday. Doctors, described thus: "Kevin helps a clown with suspected osteoporosis."
Fight
Two equally annoying blokes are in the weekly schedules now. Neil Oliver is telling us all about The Sacred Wonders of Britain on BBC2 while over on ITV, the other nuisance filling the screen is Jeremy wade who is annoying the fuck out of fish in River Monsters. Both seem to think they are rather more important than they in fact are, and I am struggling to decide which is the most annoying. There's only one way to find out . . . . Fight!
Note - Tuesday could see the demise of JW, depending on his success in locating a fish on Tuesday night, according to the write-up: "Extreme wanker/angler Jeremy Wade travels to Colombia to search for a fish suspected of having dragged a honeymooning bride to her death on the Amazon." Let's hope he finds it, and that it is equally successful.
Berry
Yesterday I managed to avoid Piers Morgan, not specifically because of him but because his guest was Mary Berry. This woman is fucking everywhere, even popping out of a cake on the dance floor of Strictly, in Blackpool. That grin is garish and gargoyle like. I was successful in the manoeuvre last night, but will have to ensure there's no slip up for tomorrow's repeat. I am now well used to having to cope with double showings each week of almost every cunting programme. Mary Berry is now officially as irritating as Barbara Windsor.
Berry & Hollywood preside over yet more cunting baking, on The Great Sport Relief Bake Off on Monday night. The BBC CIC* have nothing up their corporate sleeve than dancing and baking!
Double Showings
On the subject of repeats, nothing better demonstrates the uselessness of the CIC* than the Channel 4 schedule. Last night at 8pm there was an hour devoted to: Jamie and Jimmy's Friday Night Feast, and it is repeated tomorrow at 7pm. That's variety for you!
Of course, Channel 4 loves the multiple editions of programmes. Tomorrow it is showing the film 27 Dresses, and during the week it will be showing 27 Come Dine With Me editions.**
Selfridge
The trailers are well and truly underway. Yes, the relentlessness with which ITV touts its wares has not let up for 2014. I dismissed any chance of watching Lucan recently, after having him rammed down my fucking throat many times per day for two weeks, in trailers. The Mr Selfridge trailers are even more annoying, and of course they'll continue for longer than Lucan which was a short (two-part) offering.
Take Me Out
Take me out and shoot me if I ever voluntarily lower my standards and watch this programme. I might have, for the first time in my life, eaten a Brussels sprout last month, but ever again watching TME is a step too far.
Shapes
We've all heard of the Bermuda Triangle, Albert Square and the Cuntin Cube - now ITV has brought us the Bletchley Circle, with endless trailers, of course. This is a topic which is exhausted nearly as much as the fucking Great Train Robbery. The only reason television channels go more for the latter is that the word 'Great' features in the title.
Dickinson
The entries this week in the TV Guide are strange, for Dickinson's Real Deal.
Tue: "Highlights from the show, including a giant beer bottle and a strawberry basket."
Wed: "Memorable finds from the show, including a giant beer bottle and a strawberry basket."
* CIC = Cunts In Charge
** Apologies, I've just counted; 30 episodes this week, not 27
...
No comments:
Post a Comment