Nicolas Anelka
It's typical of the FA to do rather too little (well fuck all, actually) and to do it very slowly. The Anelka situation is a case in point. His actions on the field were hardly sensible, and he used his prominence and the fact that the match was being televised to promote the 'quenelle' gesture.
What is perhaps rather more newsworthy than the uselessness of the FA is the rather more direct action of the West Bromwich Albion shirt sponsor, which happen to be the property firm Zoopla. With Zoopla being Jewish-owned, there's some clout associated with the company, and the threat of sponsorship withdrawal could see an end to the £3million income for WBA. I suspect that rather than the sport's governing body leading the way and doing the right thing, it will be the free market and the money-men who'll get something done about Anelka's unwise and unwelcome promotion of an unnecessary aspect of life.
Zara Phillips
When did the resumption of normal life and normal activities after childbirth become a competitive sport? The papers are full of amazement, praise and congratulations, following Zara's drinking of tea at home, just six hours after giving birth. You may have got a Silver medal in 2012, luv, but this latest effort doesn't get you a Gold medal for that. I'm pleased for you that it all went well, but what's the rush?
Paul Daniels
How does this horrible little man get to appear in my newspaper? He s truly odious, and I've no sympathy for any issues he's got trying to protect his £2.5million house from the swollen river. I resent the fact that he is in the paper touting his story along with reference to past liaisons with "300 groupies" back in the day when it was apparently 'allowed' - and by 'it' I am not sure what I mean. I think that at a time when Bill Roache, Rolf Harris and Dave Lee Travis are all in the news for alleged offences, Daniels has been advised not to say much at all. I find the notion that he could have had 300 groupies quite sad; it shows the delinquency that applied among young females all those years ago.
O'Shit
I can't see Barack Obama's face, but I suspect it's less than a grin that's in place. Michelle Obama was always was a scary beast, and this picture demonstrates her fierceness. I reckon there's a lot of grief behind closed doors. She reminds me of another beast whose qualities (physical and mental) ensured she reached the top - Serena Williams.
Ed Miliband
In the news again for being a complete fucking twat. I think he should have a daily cartoon strip, with guest appearances by Nick Clegg. Both UTTERLY DISPENSABLE.
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