I could of course have opted to be 'confused' and run to confused.com for a price. I could have sought to 'compare' via gocompare.com for some input. With moneysupermarket adverts annoying me more than most, I decided they could fuck right off. Considering my similar views on the other two, I thought I'd go to either Aviva or Admiral. I chose Admiral because earlier this year a scouting mission for Junior led to a favourable quote for him - I say 'favourable' in terms of it being "sub-fuckin-two grand", the amount wanted by some arseholes!
Anyway, I duly tapped away, and arrived at the final screen with a price for my insurance on a basis that was pretty much the same as that offered by Direct Line. Unfortunately the price was £117 more. I was very mildly disappointed, but not at all surprised, and in a way it confirmed quite nicely that I need to nothing at all, and allow the automatic renewal to go through. I did notice an annoyance before I logged off, which was the option for insurance for 10 months rather than a year. Now, I know the world's gone metric, and there are probably some thick cunts who love a price that can be divided by 10 to get a monthly equivalent, but to my mind I'd rather work in full years, than on a ten-month rolling loup. I may be old fashioned, and like being able to lob a dwarf seven feet and six inches rather than 228.6cm, but I was not prepared to re-engineer things by dispensing with the last thing that is 'imperial' rather than decimal. I did not 'save the quote' but shut the window and decided to watch something on ITV Player.
The next day, as I say at the top of this post, Dawn called me on my mobile - the only number I'd entered on the Admiral site. The caller ID revealed nothing in advance, so I was surprised when she announced who she was, after I'd answered on the second ring.
"I noticed you got a quote from us yesterday, and wondered what you thought. I notice you didn't go ahead so was it not competitive?"
I resisted any urge to suggest the reason I'd gone online was to avoid a painful conversation, and managed a reasonably good demeanor.
"Unfortunately it wasn't, which was why I didn't go ahead. My Direct Line renewal was £117 less than your quote so obviously there was no point in considering Admiral for anything."
"Oh, I see. What exactly are you looking for when it comes to insurance?
"To fulfill my legal obligations at a price that's not stupid. I have to have insurance, and at my age for a small car that's as powerful as a hairdryer, I need nothing more than straightforward no-frills cover. I was looking then for a reasonable price, but you're too expensive - and by a lot."
"Ah. I see. What were you hoping to pay?"
I thought this was a dumb question, and decided the conversation was at an end. My relatively amicable disposition was threatening to leave me, and I feared for Dawn if it were allowed to go before I ended the call.
"The bare minumum, and not £117 more than I can get by automatically renewing for the same cover with my existing insurer, with no effort at all. I think that's it, then. I've got to go."
"Okay, well hopefully we'll be able to help you next year. Thanks."
The pointlessness of the whole thing is obvious. I cannot understand how it's appropriate for the online approach to be fucked up by a phone call to follow - especially from someone who could add nothing to my life, my decision-making process or anything at all worthy of the cost of a phone call. Still, I let it go and thought no more of it.
A day later my phone rang, and I saw an 08000 number on the display. I answered, and a bloke introduced himself as Mark from Admiral.
"Sorry, but I've already had one pointless call from Admiral yesterday, and I really don't need another, thank you.
"Ah, I see. Okay then."
Admiral but certainly not admirable, in terms of premium or tactics in winning me over. Still, at lease I was not bamboozled and ripped off by the comparison sites.
...
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