8.1.13 Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?

Based on tonight's show, it should be renamed.  I have two suggestions for consideration.  The first is:

Any Thick Fuck Can Win £50,000

This is highly appropriate because there is no doubt you have to be a moron not to reach this level.  The first two on the programme duly won this amount of money.  Samia Ghadie (who should surely be practising her ice skating?) and the gay bloke she's with in Coronation Street managed rather painfully to take us this far whilst displaying no real knowledge.

I then had to reconsider the programme's alternative name, and come up with a different suggestion:

Any Thick Fuck Can Win £50,000 and Lucky Cunts Can Win £150,000

This was a necessary development after having observed to complete numpties managing to defy nature itself, and prove themselves useless until they reached the £50,000 mark.  At this point, they got a lucky easy question for £75,000 and then switched questions to get another bit of luck that meant £150,000.  Duncan Bannatyne proved himself useless, and knew only one answer.  Next time he's on Dragon's Den, I will be even less impressed.  In any case, I believe that anyone like him who is already a Millionaire should NOT be on a programme called 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?' because that is plainly stupid.  The other bloke won a medal in the Long Jump.  Yes, another Olympian trotted out for the evening to become a 'celebrity'.

To demonstrate their joint uselessness, one question was: "How many red crosses are there on a Union Jack?"  Now, obviously it's a Union Flag, but let's for a change let that one go.  The answer is most obviously two.  The standard (straight) cross, and the diagonal one that's thinner.  They did not know the answer.  Bannatyne knows jack shit [forgive the pun] but I'd have expected the long-jumper to know, seeing as he represented Great Britain, won a medal, wore the kit, and looked at the flag when he was presented with the round metal thing.  They had to 'ask the audience' - twats.

Sadly, the saga goes on because the cunting audience was split, and from the options 1, 2, 3 or 4, we saw 44% go for 1 and 44% opt for 2.  Bannatyne said: "Well thank you" in a sarcastic manner - the man who had no clue himself, don't forget.  Then they went 50/50 and were left with 2 or 4 as choices.  Even these two muppets couldn't then get it wrong.  In summary, then, the thickest duo got the highest amount of money for charity.  What a fucked up programme this is - not a patch on when it first came on all those years ago.

I leave you with the competition question, which is I am sure testing the knowledge of many a cunt:

What do many hedgehogs do during the winter?
A:  Hibernate
B:  Decorate
C:  Abdicate
D:  Pollinate

What complete fucking shite!

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