19.1.13 The Co-operative Update

Yesterday's brief visit turned into a longer-than-expected one.  As ever, there was disparity between the checkout capacity and the checkout required capacity.  The fifteen or so people milling about in the two queues were 'entertained' by the clinking of bottles, as some cunt was arranging and/or restocking the wine rather than serve.  Obviously when the country is in shutdown, what with a small snowfall, there's a massive demand for wine!  It was the shelves on the other side that were almost empty, where bread used to overflow, and the vegetable area where just a dozen bags of spuds made up the total offering to customers.

One of the two spare tills was stoked up after a few minutes, and as wine sales plummeted, the relief checkout operator brought relief to some shoppers (including me) who were about to spontaneously combust.  My purchases were just milk, a few items from the freezer cabinet and a newspaper.  The simple transaction was fucked up though by an error which I discovered at night when I was clearing out my pockets and about to throw away receipts. The Co-op one showed two packets of fish fingers when I'd bought just one.  I would have to raise the matter on my next visit.

This morning, I bought my newspapers and secured a refund.  Obviously I had to walk from the till to the arse end of the shop to retrieve a box of fish fingers, bring them to the till for scanning, and then return the box to the freezer as part of the do-it-your-fuckin-self approach to getting your own money back.

An hour ago, I thought I might eat one of the Co-op 'Truly Irresistible' yoghurts that were sitting in the fridge.  I had expected them to be strawberry flavour, as usual.  I peeled the top off and put a spoonful in my mouth, one second before spitting the contents of my mouth into the empty smaller sink in the kitchen. Through my confusion I established that the creamy off-white stuff with bits in it, in the circular pot, was actually "Chocolate and Coconut".  Now, I do like a Bounty bar occasionally, but this foul mess in a pot was fucking discuntinggusting.  I relayed this useful information to Mrs MWSC on the off chance that she'll in future not invite anything of the sort over the threshold again.

While I am on a roll, I'd like to turn my attention to the supposedly truly irresistible "White Farmhouse Batch Loaf" that is sold at a ludicrous price. Let's ignore the doughy slabs of inedible stuff, and instead turn to the packaging.  The wrapper is littered with information and before ever finding out anything useful, I was availed of information that would allow me to excavate the inside of a duck's arse without fear of the unknown!  The thing that particularly caught my eye was the suggestion for 'healthy eating'.  While advocating that I ought to try and eat wholegrain, brown or high fibre versions, the message also said "and don't peel potatoes, just scrub them".  What the fuck?  Why did it not go one step further and say "by the way, cakes make you fat, and avoid burger vans at night" if there's some sort of weird mission to provide general advice?

The 'Disposal' section was odd: "Recycle with carrier bags at larger stores - Not at kerbside".  No, I will NOT be taking my bread bag to a larger store and trying to recycle it along with used carrier bags, nor will I be doing anything at the kerbside with it.  The bag will in fact remain of use as it will still be holding half of the fucking contents which proved inedible, and keeping them together in my own bin!

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