What a contrived 'high five' between KR and TC. Oh, and Dermot . . . . . don't try dancing again - and do you have to wear size 14 brown shoes with a black suit?
KR - Please can you stop the drawl, and shit dialogue; I am almost wishing your bad throat returns.
Johnny
Oh dear, oh dear. Not good; nice chap, but not good. Also, hearing the "Guilty Pleasure" admission yet again is nauseating - shut up please, KR, because at this rate, you're doing no better than the awful Alexandra 'Berk'. Johnny, unless there are strange forces in play, I suspect you'll be going back to the £94 per week invalidity benefit.
Janet
As the weeks go by, I am less and less certain that I can listen to her, because everything she does will come out the same, and tonight she didn't do well. It was okay, but nothing more. Elf, shut the fuck up with the "Kelly . . . . she put it down!" input. I started typing these comments half way through the song, before the judges spoke, and TC & TTT got it right, while the other two got it wrong. She is definitely good at some songs, but not at others; choose wisely. [Annoying mention of "Comfort Zone"]
Craig
What a naf disco shit song. Still, he can sing, so really he couldn't go wrong on a week where there will be a few singers being tested. He should be fine. The Elf came out with - "You remind me of a young Gary Barlow when he was singing and dancing." [Boring mention again of "Comfort Zone"]
The 'Rusk'
Appealing to squealing girls, they should perhaps adopt my name-change. Drippy rubbish, as far as I'm concerned. Vocals are dodgy, and they are too cliche. Some of those arm movements were Neanderthal. TTT said Charlie is the lead singer; I agree that they'd do a bit better without trying to have an even spread of input between the four. They do not stand out at all. No way would I buy an album of theirs. In fact, if I was given one free of charge, I would not waste 35 minutes of my life playing it.
Marcus
Excellent !!!!!
Matalan
The 60 second advert in the break was more entertaining than anything so far on X-Factor. They nailed it.
Kitty
Very Good. KR, shut up (skiver) and she does make you want to watch.
Frankie
Fuckin' fuck off. I can fart a better tune than you can sing! You are everything that's wrong with society/celebrity/fame/lack of talent/easy money/spin/attitude/twattishness. Oh, as I now finish typing, there are boos from the audience. Well done Elf, you're now saying what needs to be said. KR - fuck off telling Louis what he can and cannot think. "The only thing that's lacking in your performance is the voice," said KR, "To make it in the business you have to be able to sing." Thanks for that, Kelly, because without that guidance we'd all be fucked, eh? "Back in your cage, Louis," said Thomas. TTT went on to moan about the booing, saying it shouldn't be allowed. Of course booing should be allowed if the act is shit. Booooooooo!
Misha
The pronunciation was awful; was she singing in English? Hmmmm . . . . I must watch Sister Act again. She'll probably be okay. NB: What's happened to KR's voice? It grates like fuck on my ears, with its shrieky whine.
Little Mix
A few dodgy vocals/harmonies. Nevertheless, they're more interesting than most acts, and I am quite sure they are getting better as the weeks go by. Good.
Frankie & Johnny to go?
TTT = Thomas the Tank / Gary
TC = Top Cat / Tulisa Contostavlos
Elf = Louis Walsh
KR = Kelly Rowland
...
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