Saturday 19 November 2011

19.11.11 X-Factor Wk7

Dermot, I've told you before, STOP fucking 'dancing'.  You look like a twat, and it's nauseating.

Craig

"Licence To Kill" - Sorry, Craig, but whilst you can sing, it was actually a 'Licence To Bore'.  I would like to see something that is interesting.  TTT - it's not a singing competition, you hypocrite, as you picked Frankie CoCuntZa !!!

Janet

It was okay.  'Okay' is all that it was, and she is still not doing what she is best suited to do.  Why am I so bored of that voice now?  What, another break?  That's adverts after Craig, and now adverts after Janet. 

Amelia Lily

Oh, so it's not only an opportoonity for Amelia, it's an opportoonity for KR too!  Thanks, KR, for that wonderful sound bite.  As for Amelia's singing, is it always at 'shout' level?  There's also a 'desperate' tone, for some reason.  How about singing, instead of testing the microphone's ability to transmit 95-125 decibels?  I think she's quite a nice girl, although I suspect that in a scrum, she could make good ground with those legs.  TC, you are right, the song was shit.  I believe she'll stay because there's a weird belief that she was 'wronged' and so deserves a chance now.  [NB: I suspect a sponsorship deal soon, with L'Oreal, to promote pinkness].  ANOTHER fucking advert!

Advert for HMV

What a voiceover cunt, saying "haytch" instead of "aitch", the latter being the proper fucking letter of the alphabet!

Misha

Sob, Sob, Sob, Sob.  Is this the Sob-Factor?  If I wanted this shit, I'd get a voluntary job with the Samaritans!  Still, the singing was accurate, and good, even if the majority of it was at the crescendo end of the song.  Is that a marquee you're wearing?  Elf and TC, fuck off with the "People from Manchester" shit, reference the voting.  As for TTT saying "Get back to who you was", I am speechless.

Little Mix

Excellent!

Advert

Jimmy Choo fragrance?  What's that about, then?  Sweaty feet?

Marcus

In the intro footage, TTT said "It's still gonna be Marcus, doing what Marcus does best" and I instantly thought 'hairdressing'!!!  Sorry, Marcus, you are talented, but that song was cuntin' crap!  "The little man from Liverpool," said Elf - the little man from Ireland.  Calm down everyone.  It was good.


TTT = Thomas the Tank / Gary
TC = Top Cat / Tulisa Contostavlos
Elf = Louis Walsh
KR = Kelly Rowland

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