Monday 20 December 2010

20.12.10 BolloX-Factor

Aren't you glad that's all over now?  I know I am.  So Matt won and most people agree that this was the right result.  Whether he makes it or not is another issue.  Anyway, some of the shit/inane/repetitive/crap comments and observations on this last series that I can now put behind me include the following:

Cheryl Cole

"I thoroughly enjoyed it."  This was a favourite phrase that got an outing in just about every show, as did another effort, "You're a little pop star".  What patronising shit!  Her whining was nauseating, and at one point I seriously considered she had a crush on Rebecca, as she tried to relay how wonderful she thought Rebecca was, as an artist, as a mother, as a woman, as a Scouser, as a performer, as a human being, as a Nina Simone tribute, as a person etc etc.  [ I used to have a circular saw that made a distinctive noise less intrusive, annoying and repetitive than Rebecca's singing ]  Another curious quote from CC was, "This could be a real moment for Mary".  What the fuck does that mean?  I recall that fairly early in the series, CC said "You're only as good as your last song."  Well, in that case, you're shit Cheryl.  I remember making a note to myself that she cannot even mime in tune.

Louis Walsh

Poor Louis, he never said anything worthwhile all series.  Some of his often repeated catchphrases were:
"You're in the final", which was said to each finalist - what a revelation!
"You made it your own."
"The people of XXX love you."  Insert for the XXX as appropriate, from: 'Liverpool', 'Ireland', 'Lilliput'.
It would have even been refreshing to have heard him utter "Pot o'Gold' rather than 'You've got a great recording voice'.

Simon Cowell

He's been odd this series, and in some instances, a twat.  Some of his silly comments have included:
"I genuinely think . . ."  This often used introduction suggested that there must have been many past comments made which were not reflecting his genuine thoughts(?)
"One thousand per cent."
"A million per cent."
"A hundred and ten per cent."
"Two hundred per cent."

Dannii Minogue

The most enlightening quote from Dannii was one which rather explained the farce regarding the Final, which was creatively arranged to include 4 contestants rather than the 3 that have featured in the final in previous series.  Clearly Simon wanted Cher to be included in the so-called Final.  On the last (Sunday) show, the opening few minutes included comments from the judges from the previous (Saturday night) programme, and Dannii said: "I'm looking forward to the final tomorrow".  That's right, Dannii, the final was indeed on the Sunday and the Saturday show was the Semi-Final.  So, Mary, you only reached the Quarter-Final, and Cher, you were Nowhere!  Cher + Rap = Crap

The series overall was a disappointment, and the judges were mostly awful.  Louis should return to the Play-Doh pots that occupy him in the X-Factor closed season.  Cheryl should make that move to the States, and stay there.  Simon should try and find some of the integrity that he once had.  Dannii, who sometimes comes out with some rubbish, did for the most part show herself to be the best judge (Nicole aside).  Dermot probably has a 'claw grip' on a further stint as host.  I'm glad it's over and I can reclaim my life.

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