17.3.14 Why, Why, Why?

???

Why did Newcastle United not sack Alan Pardew for gross misconduct, after his headbutt?  The club (well, Mike Ashley) will regret this missed opportunity at some point, and find that when there is a parting, Pardew will have to be paid off for the many years that his contract guarantees him of employment on a significant wage.

Why does anyone think there's an ounce of fucking interest in the love life of Kelly Brook?  Every week she's ping-ponging between a new and an old boyfriend, having her picture taken.  Yawn.

Why does anyone think that a Labour government will be better than the coalition government?  Tony Blair and Gordon Brown raided the country of all its wares and set about (successfully) squandering all at their disposal so that the UK was pretty much bankrupted.  Ed Balls talks bollocks, Miliband should be banned, and the party is probably missing an MPs called Mike Hunt (as he'd no doubt be a cunt) and Dick Head.

Why does Coleen Nolan think we have any interest in her ever, let alone in respect of her latest mumblings about how her marriage could so easily have fallen apart.  It seems she was feeling 'neglected'.  I wish she'd neglected to keep me informed on her life.

Why does Tina Malone think I care that she would often down 40 gins and 10 beers every night?

Why does Sarah Ferguson think I care about her loss of 3 stone?  She had it to lose, and she is a thoroughly over-indulged person.

Why do so many idiots give Gwyneth Paltrow the time of day?  Her latest diet (300 calories per day) is simply silly.  It involves: Hot Lemon Water for breakfast, plus lentil and lemon soup for lunch.  Other useful advice from the deluded woman includes: Wear socks to keep warm.  Gwyneth, you are a fucking fruit cake.

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