Drinking
The latest amusement comes courtety of a school in East Lothian, after three 13-year-olds were suspended, allegedly for smuggling into school some fizzy drinks and selling them to fellow pupils. One mum challenged the 2-day suspension as there was no evidence at all that her son was trying to sell the drink, just that he had a bottle of Lucozade Sport on him. All three kids were allowed back in after the 'sentence' was commuted to a written warning for each. Whilst the school (under Scottish Government rules) is not allowed to sell fizzy drinks, children are allowed to bring them to school - but not sell them. It was the assertion that selling was taking place, although completely denied by the kids (of course). The funniest thing in all of this, though, is that the claims of 'selling' were confirmed to the mother who objected by a member of the school staff with the most pathetic job title I've come across. According to the statement of the mother:
"The Head of Guidance told me he had been selling Lucozade. My son denies trying to sell the Lucozade."
I must say I find myself chuckling at 'Head of Guidance' - maybe I am out of touch, and this is a position filled by many thousands of teachers. In my day, such a role was fulfilled by every fucking teacher and school worker doing his or her job. This story almost demands a further headline, something to get things into perspective. Perhaps:
"School tackles soft drink crime and exposes young criminals. Meanwhile, crack cocaine and gun running is taking place behind the bike sheds, where staff are not allowed for health & safety reasons."
Something like that would be hilarious, to get a sense of proportion here. I do wonder if the Irn Bru Crew (allegedly the gang name) has a more concerning counterpart where the stakes are slightly higher than fizzy drinks.
Swearing
A school in Richmond has chosen 'Mogadishu' as a drama to be studied, but one 14-year-old pupil's mother expressed concern. Apparently it contains Fuck/Fucked/Fucking 218 times, and Cunt 10 times. As the mother pointed out, this is rather inappropriate and a film containing this level of swearing would not be classed as suitable for those aged 14. I think we all appreciate that kids are hardly unaware of these words, even if they don't (yet?) themselves use them. Still, with so many books to choose from, why opt for something so contentious? The mother got loads of online vitriolic abuse from teachers, basically telling her to fuck off and keep her opinions to herself. How enlightening and educational all round. What is surely true is that the school, having opted endorsement of the fucks and cunts in the classroom, will soon hand out a detention if a kid swears in general parlance. It's a bit rich to accept and promote swearing under the umbrella of 'learning' but to deny its use on pupils' terms, however appropriate it may be, and/or in context (rather than 'in text').
[Meanwhile, in London, use of the word 'Jesus' is banned in a song, and Eliza Doolittle is forced to record one line to amend an innocent lyric - obviously the word 'Jesus' might cause offence, and is much more serious a threat to humanity than reading Fuck and Cunt in school books]
Pissing
The Towers School in Ashford has decided to create a most inappropriate approach for kids wanting to shit and piss. Yes, communal toilets for boys and girls from 11-16 years old sounds like a complete joke of an idea . . . . but it isn't a joke. Mixing sexes means cubicles for both in the same area. I'd say this was quote simply stupid.
Weighing
I fat girl from California has lost six stone and now competes as a swimmer. She's aiming for a Gold Medal in the Junior Olympic games. We will side-step how her mother allowed the girl to reach 14 stone. Now that the 11-year-old is 'only' 8 stone, she apparently has a decent chance. Meanwhile, in the UK, schoolboys are being denied the opportunity to compete in a rubgy tournament if they are too heavy. The weight limit for an 11-year-old is 7 stone and 11 pounds. Perhaps they'll be told to fuck off to the pool then.
Walking Out
Fair play to Aaron Parfitt, aged 14, who led fellow pupils in a 'walk out' after concerns over the quality of teaching, and the lack of homework. After contacting Blackpool Council and Ofsted, he got not joy, so organised a rather more direct approach through the walk-out last Wednesday. He'd already approached the Acting Head, the Head of Year and the Maths teacher. As a result of the walk-out, he got excluded for two days. The Ofsted report last May stated: Standards were low and there was too much mediocre teaching. In September, it had managed the great accolade of "reasonable progress" but even the lengthily named Acting Head, Deborah Hanlon-Catlow, said it was still a "challenging" period. The usual comments were trotted out by the various bodies (school, Council, Ofsted etc) but no one actually said fuck all of any value.
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