1 - "What did you think you were going to achieve in a spandex vest? [Liam to TMWSC]
2 - "He was the epicentre of the fundraising effort." [BBC News Reporter talking nonsense]
3 - "Fat people have to attract fat people but skinny people have more of a pick." [Jess]
4 - "I just like a couple of odd little breasts." [TMWSC, referring to chicken breasts for a stir fry]
5 - "Last night was a bad one for me - haven't been that drunk in ages! I ended up putting a bucket of sick on my roof . . . . bad times! [Liam, the following day]
6 - "I feel comfortable in my own skin." [Patsy Kensit talking nonsense]
7 - "Just because I ran giddily into the room." [Jess trying to defend herself / explain herself]
8 - "I prefer winter to summer. In the winter, if you're cold you can put on more layers, but in the summer, if it's too hot there's fuck all you can do about it." [Ian]
9 - "She looked like The Grudge." [Jess, being rather uncomplimentary]
10 - "Your biggest problem - you are the most annoying man in politics." [Sean from Kent, referring to Ed Balls on a radio phone-in]
11 - "It wreaks of death." [Ian, talking about Scarborough]
12 - "They get in 'em, you know." [Jess referring to cats and carrier bags]
13 - "You don't see a straight tree." [Maria, regarding the Falkland Islands]
14 - "Good tone." [Danny, on The Voice, saying the same old shit as usual]
15 - "What we need is some stirring and some frying." [Greg Wallace on Masterchef, to contestants set to make a stir fry; helpful, eh?]
16 - "He looks like a surprised fuckin' frog." [TMWSC regarding a contestant on Masterchef]
17 - "I wouldn't say it's got hit written all over it, but you're pretty close." [Simon Cowell being witty on BGT]
18 - "I'm 300% into it." [Natalie on Masterchef, getting her numbers wrong]
19 - "Than was 1000% you." [Will.i.am on The Voice, getting his numbers wrong]
20 - "It's a trillion per cent yes." [David Walliams on BGT getting his numbers wrong]
21 - "Some high quality quizzing, there." [Dermot on Eggheads, talking complete bollocks]
22 - "For people who spit blood when brushing their teeth." [Not the best slogan, in the Corsodyl advert]
23 - "It's Nerf or nothing." [Another advert slogan. Hmmm . . . . . nothing, then]
Grammar & Football Specials
24 - "The final ball was pretty dire and pretty poor." [Alan Shearer doubling up his analysis]
25 - "Poor quality, lack of quality." [Alan again, in two minds despite not having one]
26 - "McCleary was given the freedom to advance forward." [MOTD commentator making sure we didn't think he was advancing backwards]
27 - "In Reading you've got a team that's fighting for their lives." [Chris Houghton talking gibberish]
28 - "ITV are . . . . " [ITV]
29 - "The County Council themselves are . . . " [Michael Gove, the Education Secretary!]
30 - "The first batch of profiteroles are out." [Carol Vorderman talking bollocks]
31 - "The fresh produce that are lying around the kitchen." [Daniel on Masterchef]
32 - "There are still less bees around than there were." [Steve Wright - Radio 2]
33 - " Mark and I's relationship . . . . " [Woman on Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares USA]
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