This weekend's edition of BGT was evidence of the plot being lost. I am sorry but the ability to do something sporty does NOT mean qualification for a 'talent' contest. The many thousands of pounds spent to set up a diving pool and high board, viewing gallery and a load of H&S provision was money NOT well spent. These bods represented the UK at diving; right, but on that basis, the extras in 'Splash!' would be eligible for our attention! What next? Shall we set up a velodrome and get the judges to give four yeses to anyone who doesn't fall off? Lets get all the entrants to the 2012 Olympics to turn up and demand applause for having 'talent'. It does not work, does it!
In summary, then - just because you can do something well does not mean it counts as 'talent' or is appropriate for BGT !
And so to donkeys. I am confident they cannot paint. In fact, I was fairly sure they couldn't paint before the one that appeared on stage was presented as an artist. The animal was brought on and through no fault of its own, wasted five minutes of my life. Donkeys have no fucking place on BGT, unless they are providing rides for children. Maybe that now counts as a talent? Let's face it, divers can dive and supposedly qualify. Maybe because I can drive a car I ought to turn up on stage with a small vehicle and drive it. On second thoughts, I would like to see a donkey diving! Donkey diving, donkey diving, hey ho!
The magician was good, and this was a good act to have on a talent contest, and took away the stupidity of the outside escapade to watch some diving. The donkey 'act' was a farce, but so too were the useless twats who wheeled out their talentless pets to match their talentless selves. The face painting on the sides of dogs was the most useless attempt at entertaining anyone with multiple brain cells that I've ever seen. To have decided upon a name - The League of Extraordinary Groomers - was overkill for a start, considering there was no basis for any name being needed, let alone one with 'extraordinary' in it. This shows that the three twattish women had no clue at all. Then another dog act proved things can get worse, as a woman sat on stage and called the dog on - and it duly ambled on to the stage. Dire shit indeed! Then of course we had a racoon - proving surrealism exists.
The dancer was good, as was the ventriloquist, bringing the number of acts worth watching to THREE, after thirty-five minutes!
Then came the singers - the five excellent voices singing perfectly together. What talent. Then we finally got a few singing acts that were fine, plus the excellent guy moving his body weirdly. Finally the sob story - it reminded me of Simon Bates on the radio years ago. She could bloody sing though!!!!!!!! NB: Better than Katharine Jenkins!
It's not surprising therefore that there's a bias towards singing overall.
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