6.1.12 Virgin on the Ridiculous

How many more letters will arrive from Virgin Media in 2012, I wonder?  After last year's onslaught, I have today received the first one of the year.

Now, I am not going to contest the claim that Virgin Media either provides 'a more exciting place to live' or is the name of an actual place in which I could reside to have some excitement.  I am however going to question why on earth the company is so desperate for my own participation.  All through 2010 and 2011 I received letters (well, they were addressed to 'The Occupier', so clearly I am not as well known to Virgin Media as they would perhaps wish) pestering me to enrole, subscribe, register, remortgage or whatever else is involved in benefiting from some sort of offer.  You may have seen from previous blog posts that I have taken some small delight in forwarding the letters after adding addresses in the empty space below 'The Occupier' - including 10 Downing Street, Buckingham Palace, and even a lighthouse off the coast of Cornwall (with a Devon postal address).  The latest effort is not a white C5 envelope with a half-A4 (so A5) size letter.  Instead, Virgin has moved things along, and I have received a large brown envelope containing an unfolded A4 sheet and a small A5 booklet on the benefits of Virgin Media.

The letter's content is mainly directed at convincing me that Virgin Media presents me with major benefits over any Sky deal, and that for every possible issue with Sky and its service, there's no such concern with Virgin Media.  The flaw in the whole thing is that I do not have Sky.  Hitting me from every angle with how Virgin is better than Sky is pointless.  Virgin Media may well be right - who cares though?  If I told you that the service from a specific German company which makes the rivets manufactured in the production of food processing equipment used by yoghurt producers in France is very slightly better than the service provided by a specific Swedish company that makes very similar rivets manufactured in the production of food processing equipment used by yoghurt producers in Italy, would you give a fuck?  Exactly.

The small booklet notes, "We've got a TiVo box with your name on it".  Excellent news, then, but what a waste.  I am tempted to return the leaflet with my own version - "I've got a bullet with your name on it". 

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