What the fuck did we ever do before the arrival of Buscopan ??? We must have been suffering enormously for decades, and in the background, scientists and pharmacists have worked tirelessly to put us out of our misery and the pain caused by stomach cramps. This must be so, as there's now a fucking fanfare and hundreds of adverts for Buscopan Cramps cramping our style and relaxation time in front of the TV. How did we ever get by without it? Easily.
Meanwhile, in Morrisons, the price of value pasta twists remains at 40p. There's no offer for buying two anymore. Asda's version is at 30p. However, a more serious issue has arisen in the last week, surrounding toothpaste. 'Emergency Toothpaste' as I like to think of it, is the cheapest 'saver' version, and proves useful (and almost disposable) for overnight stays, and as a backup. The attractively low price means one can have a tube for emergencies for little outlay. The going rate was 17p - 20p depending on the supermarket - until a week ago. Yes, there's been a development at Morrisons whereby the 17p no longer applies, and the new rate is 30p! That's an instant 76% increase because the cunts felt like it! Disgusting approach, Morrisons.
Over at Asda, things are worse. This week, there was NONE on sale. That's right, the 17p green and white tube of paste was nowhere to be seen. Removed from the shelves, no doubt to encourage purchase of brand name versions. I had Macleans already, bought at Morrisons instead of the madly priced basic stuff at 30p, and I was simply checking the Asda policy. I suspect something may be going on, just as happened a few years ago with washing up liquid. **
** You may recall that the cheapest WUL was around 13p for one litre, in the classic shape plastic tubular container. The squirty bottle contained a runny liquid that allowed liberal dispensing. Then about three years ago, all the supermarkets stopped selling it. It was clearly a conspiracy. I suspect we will see toothpaste go the same way; I will keep you updated.
Ten blades for my Fusion razor were available at Asda, on offer at the special price of £25.00! That's right, twenty-cuntin-five-quid to shave! The world is fucking mad; it'll be five quid for a dozen rolls of paper next, to wipe my arse. Oh, it already is! Shit!
Finally, getting out of Asda was not straightforward. I joined a queue at the checkouts; a woman was just about to pay, and one woman behind her had placed items on the belt, leaving a two-foot space for me to make a start with my own shopping. Nothing moved for fuckin' ages. Now, I appreciate that twats who run supermarkets have decided it is a good tactic for checkout staff to chat with customers, show an interest in stuff, and generally be all pally-pally. However, some twats take things a bit far. I waited while the old woman who should have been living in a shoe but instead had a part-time job at Asda, conversed with the woman who was paying, and continued to talk to her even after she had paid. I was just getting to the point of threatening to abandon what turned out to be £140 worth of shopping when the shopper escaped the verbal lasso of the checkout biddie. The next line, directed at the woman in fornt of me, was amazing:
"Sorry about the long wait"
Stupid cow! It was all of your own making, you deceitful fuck! When my turn came, she asked me if I was all right packing (I was tempted to ask if she was all right breathing) and then asked me if I wanted any bags. I said "Yes" rather than "What the fucking hell do you think, you doughnut". Then, she was relieved by a replacement operator (not as relieved as I was!) because it was 'break time'. The newcomer was a female 'Jeeves' as in Jeeves & Wooster, and condescendingly but 'nicely' made twittering comments, and as I made my escape after paying, she stopped just short of bowing (there being no room to curtsey behind a till).
Any regular readers of my blog will know I am avoiding Sainsbury's after the 'gloves' incident, and Tescunt (Tesco if you really do prefer) is just no good anymore.
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