What a painful, forced, limp and contrived effort, interspersed (riddled is probably a more accurate term) with advert breaks. How the fuck did someone have the nerve to wheel out Bruce Forsythe and then top that fuck-up by asking him to 'sing'. The inverted commas are of course in recognition of his inability to actually sing.
Dermotitis was prevalent; the disease that is Dermot seems to infiltrate a number of ITV productions. His best line in the early stages of the programme was:
"The votes were independently adjudicated by independent adjudicators."
Thanks, Dermot, that was exceptionally helpful. Dermot's delivery is so annoying; he growls here and there for (unneeded) emphasis and asks silly questions sporadically (why does he do that?) during protracted preamble for each award.. I am so glad that Jonathan Ross did not win anything; this is a man whose chat show is all about himself, and never the guests!
How, How, How, How did "Take Me Out" get a fucking nomination? Absolute nonsense. After Little Mix, we endured Caroline Quentin milking the exposure to announce the Male Drama award. Send her back to Cornwall, please; could Bodmin Jail be made available?
Matt Smith won the award for his Dr Who shite. No surprise, as his assistant had already won the Female Drama award. It's all rather sad that Dr Who watchers make up a disproportionate number of people who bother to vote in these awards.
The frequency of the adverts meant an equivalent frequency of the advert from the programme sponsor - Crabbie's Alcoholic Ginger Beer. When one is bombarded with the same shit, the relentlessness causes a reaction. I am now fucking crabby as hell, and wouldn't touch the stuff if it was buy-one-get-two-free!
Ant & Dec won again. This element of the awards is a given, year on year. The 'Outstanding Contribution' award obviously changes, and this year Gary Barlow collected it.
"This award is an absolutely fantastic" said Thomas, in his predictable, slow, chuff . . . . chuff . . . . chuff way.
To be fair, it was well deserved, but I couldn't resist a reference to Thomas The Tank Engine. The Hilary Devay presentation went a bit wrong, eh? As for Drama, how could it include Waterloo Road? That's just 'Grange Hill' for grown-ups. Still, Downton Abbey winning meant that Dr Who didn't get even more unwarranted recognition.
Talking of that, Special Recognition? For Jonathan Ross? Fucking joke. Here we have a self-obsessed, overpaid bloke who a year ago was suspended and not paid millions for his out-of-order behaviour. He was subsequently dropped by the BBC. Yet here we are, praising the fuck out of him for being 'irreverent'. The country is so fickle that it lambasts him one year and resents the fuck out of him for getting £6million per year of licence payers' money for promoting himself and acting like a twat. The next year, he gets an award? Pah!
Dermotitis introduced the programme with comment on how good the UK is at producing television programmes. Sorry, but if we are including Come Dine With Me, Take Me Out and Benidorm in the nominations, supposedly part of the cream of the output, then we are sadly disillusioned.
As for Corrie winning the soap battle, get in!
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