10.1.12 Activia Weight Gain

There's something not quite right about the so-called "T.L.C." that comes with eating Activia because this would seem to be a yoghurt that helps you put on weight.  I say this, after seeing an advert yesterday, and noticing that Martine McCutcheon has got bigger.  I am convinced it's got nothing to do with widescreen TV; I know that it's said to put 5lbs on you, but of course that's the case on a rolling basis.  No, Martine has not reached the rolling stage yet, not even the waddling stage * but she most certainly is at the hoiking stage.  She hoiks herself across the screen, smiling and licking a spoon that never had anything on it, extolling the virtues of Activia.  Sorry, luv, but you need to do a bit more than hoik across my screen, however wide it is, and do some serious exercise instead.  As a consumer, I don't want to eat something that's having the effect Activia's having on you.

On another advert (a rather longer one!) we have Alesha Dixon (why, why, why???) fronting a musical march for "ordinary" people who are all getting on down to Weight Watchers.  The massive advert is of course biased to fuck, in that the only people who need to slim are women.  There are no fat cunts who are men of course!  So, Alesha fronts the campaign for no good reason, and hundreds of women march for no good reason - well, actually, maybe to exercise and so lose weight.  I suggest that everyone who was in the advert lost more weight participating in it than would ever be lost in a week following the diet, or weight-watching, or whatever.

* For those of you who clocked the asterisk above, I have decided to include this note, rather than annoy by omitting it - something I occasionally see done.  "Waddling" is demonstrated superbly by the chap with the Irish accent who does the Everest Windows adverts.  He's not overweight, but has mastered the Waddle, so keep a look out.

As for Activia, then, do yourself a favour - look at Martine, and decide if you want to go up a size as well.  The T.L.C. isn't quite working, is it? 

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