A Chomp was always the equivalent of 1/10 of a pound sterling. Ten New Pence was the established worth of a Chomp and this fact was irrefutable. Today, I saw them on sale at . . . . 20 fucking pence! 23.5g of chewy chocolate covered toffee in a tiny orange wrapper, marked with '20p'. What on earth???
I am so disappointed that the world's economic problems have led to a devaluing of the Chomp, as well as the Euro. I will now have to re-evaluate my confectionary needs. On a related matter, while in the queue at the Co-op [or Cunt-op, as I like to call it] I saw at the end of the aisle an offer. The till operators (all three of them) were engaged in trying to deal with a single customer who was fucking about with a lottery ticket, a switch card and some issues relating to a past transaction. One of the staff was operating the yellow terminal, one was frowning and writing something, and one was doing fuck all. So, this all gave me plenty of time to consider two things.
1 - I could have milked the fucking cow myself and bottled the resultant liquid in the time it was taking to purchase a newspaper and bottle of milk.
2 - Why, oh why, was there an offer of Cadbury's Creme Eggs at half price? It's cuntin' January! There is no way any supermarket has any right to be touting fucking eggs, let alone trying to shift them at half price. £3.05 for six! I wouldn't even buy them at the offer price of £1.52.
There was one good offer at the Cunt-op: a Double Decker four-pack for £1.00. Not surprisingly, there were none on the fucking shelf.
Co-operative: Shit With Food
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