Thursday 21 October 2010

21.10.10 Mars A Day

Forget the old slogan; the new version is -
A Mars a day . . . is Shit!

Whatever Mars has done to its best selling bar, it was not a move for the good.  '45% less saturated fat' accompanied by 'Same great taste' are the two strap lines bandied about, only one of which is true.  All I know is they do not now taste like they used to.  Removing some of the fat simply makes the thing more like a glorified Milky Way!

So, as ever, tampering with something that was not an issue in the first place has fucked it up.  Claiming health grounds as a basis for the change is stupid, because if you're a fat cunt, you shouldn't be eating a Mars Bar.  Does this mean that everyone now has to suffer because the manufacturers are pandering to the needs (rather, the hopelessness) of a few?  Yes!

The same goes for other products.  They fucked about with the sweetness of Fanta and other drinks ages ago, claiming all sorts of shit improvements, but the truth is that it tastes worse.    Sugar Puffs, there's another disaster.  Years ago, they contained a decent amount of sugar, and the cereal was sticky to the touch, and gorgeous to the taste buds.  Now, after the cunts in charge have removed anything inherently nice, we are left with something that hardly conforms to Trading Standards.  For my money, the boxes should be labelled "Puffs" (although Cardboard Puffs would be acceptable).  Again, it's supposed to be for our own good that these improvements have been made.  Crap.  And the Honey Monster?  He's retired.  There's less honey than would fill a bee's cunt in one 750g box of 'Puffs'.  Now, there's a strap line for you!

The cunt-in-charge is a 'Cereal' Killer.

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