Sharon Osbourne
It is quite simple this week, red for fail and green for pass. Scores are 1-5 points.
Rough Copy 2
I missed the performance, bar a few seconds, while channel hopping, as I was catching the last dance on Strictly Come Dancing which was massively more important and more entertaining by a mile. The drippy threesome seems to get more accolades than are deserved for some strange reason. I believe I missed nothing at all.
Osbourne - She made some pointless comments including reference to the wonderful outfits for some pathetic reason.
Sam Callahan 2
The into VT was hilarious, and we heard Louis Walsh telling Sam: "You're going to the world premier of "Tor Too". He of course meant "Thor Two". The performance from Sam was completely and utterly average, at very best, with wobbly vocals.
Osbourne - "I'd like to see more edge to you next week". I'd like to see you go over the edge, Sharon!
Walsh - "I've never had a more hard working contestant than Sam." Irrelevant, Elf!
Gary - "Weak vocal performance." Correct
Nicole - "I agree with Gary." Not worth paying you for that, luv.
Hannah Barrett 4
The intro VT was hilarious when Nicole and Hannah were in Greggs:
Nicole - "What's in the chicken bake?"
Hannah - "Chicken."
Unfortunately for Hannah she is totally unlikeable, with a sour face that needs invigorating with a slap from a cold haddock.
Elf - "You were born to sing; 10 out of 10."
Osbourne - "Magnificent; out of 10 it was 30." Arsehole.
Gary - "Sensational."
Nicole - "I need to shut up right now. Even though you're 17, you're a queen, a vision." No, Schitsinger, she's a glum sourpuss.
Nicholas McDonald 5
Osbourne - "Remind me one more time; how old are you?" You TWAT, Sharon! "Your emotion was spectacular; you look like a big boy tonight." Patronising cunt!
Gary - "Brilliant vocal performance. Remember you're sixteen years old; celebrate being sixteen years old."
Nicole - Some general and pointless shite delivered in a drawl that was nauseating, followed by: "I just wanna lay with you." Fucking madness, considering the monotonous references to his age, woman!
Dermot - "Can we all get over the fact that he's sixteen?" Well said, O'Dreary!
Abi Alton 2
Rather wobbly and a bit weak, luv. You are better than this and somehow Nicole has allowed you to fuck up.
Elf - "That was fantastic; you've put yourself back in da race."
Osbourne - "People are going to put on the kettle when you start singing. You've got the voice, we just need to not put the kettle on."
Gary - "Somewhere we've lost this girl."
Nicole - "We will come out daisies and daffodils." WTF you stupid drawling nob!
Caroline Flack 1
A completely pointless and utterly NOT entertaining 45 seconds of Flack talking shit with Sam Callahan.
Miss Dynamix 2
More nasal by SeSe than Ronan Keating, and I didn't think that was possible!
Nicole - "I know y'all been through a lot this week." This was followed by drawling shite and patronising bollocks.
Elf - "I expect more."
Sharon - "When you started off, SeSe, you were singing through your nose. That's what we need, more clicking." Twat.
SeSe - "The public do not understand how much we want this." Fuck off, luv.
Sam Bailey 5
Gary - "You sang that song better than
Nicole - "One word, honey: Machestical." Fucking arse.
Kingsland Road 3
Fucking Beatles shite. Will someone tell them to do something that is better than 'average at best'.
Nicole - "Finally this week we have lead vocals. At times it's raining a little bit of cheese." WTF? Stick to Muller-fucking-licious, you twat!
Elf - "A little bit lazy."
Osbourne - "You tick all the right boxes." You should be in one, Sharon.
Gary - "We needed you on this show tonight." Hmmm . . . doubt that, Gary.
KR - "We come back fighting." No, attempting to sing, and failing at a level equivalent to The Beatles on the original version.
Luke Friend 4
Brave and very good choice of song, with a few wobbly vocals in the mix, just so we couldn't really get comfortable.
Osbourne - "You definitely have an edge; you're definitely dirty and I like that about you."
Gary - "That was the surprise of the night for me."
Nicole - "Next time I give you a hug I'm gonna bury my face in your hair. Good job, Luke."
Caroline Flack 1
Twenty seconds with Tamera before there was no time for the answer! Switch to Abi for ten seconds before she asked her parents whether they were proud of their daughter. What a searching question, worthy of Jeremy Paxman on Newsnight, eh? Pointless, Flack.
Tamera Foster 3
It was good but actually too much wailing without any real emotion/feeling. Bound to get good comments.
Elf - "Tamera Tamera Tamera. You stole the show." I suppose he could have said '
Sharon - "Tamara: little young gorgeous pop star. You've got it all going on, Tamara." Sharon, you waste of space, you can't even get her name right. Too many vodkas, I reckon.
Gary - "There were elements of Stars In Their Eyes." Well said, Gary.
Nicole - "She's sixteen." Fuck off you arse.
FLASH VOTE
Sharon's input at one day per week can be maintained with her one remaining act. The ones in the firing line are \Miss Dynamix (one week behind schedule). I like the one who clicks - seems lovely, and she confirmed they are going to rehearse for 24 hours. Not sure that will be enough, though.
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