There's a strange convention that dictates the use of redundant phrases in general conversation. I have no idea what proportion of the UK population actually knows what the fuck is being referred to when these phrases are used, but I'd suggest a rather low percentage.
Take the "One Trick Pony". I haven't much contact with ponies in day-to-day life, so must accept I've limited qualification for commenting here. Nevertheless, I can certainly assure readers that I've no real knowledge of any fucking pony managing even the one trick that's taking the credit all the time! Has anyone ever seen a pony manage one trick, let alone a number of them?
Then we have people "Jumping on the bandwagon" as if that's a common occurrence. Where are the fucking bandwagons then? Fucked if I know!
"We're out of the woods" is rather irrelevant considering few people venture into the woods! When did you last go into the woods, and then decide you were fucking happy to be out of them? Never is likely to be the most popular choice in answering that question, I suggest.
Nothing I have found in my research suggest that there are many cakes made that are then sold while hot, so the "selling like hot cakes" phrase is completely stupid!
What exactly is wrong with anything being "pear shaped" then? I think pears would have something to say about this, assuming they could talk! pears are rather undervalued, in my opinion, although clearly their transformation into cider is something worthy of congratulation.
What, you ask, is the two tonnes of shit that is mentioned in the title of this post? Well, simply the pathetic attempts by retailers to con the cunt out of us with maths. Anyone with an ounce (or should that be gramme, in the metric climate?) of intelligence will acknowledge the obviousness of the tactics employed by advertisers, but for the thick, I will labour the point.
Sales are a permanent feature of the retail world and in advertising, so there's no surprise that there is a sale on at any time. The issue I have is with the insistence of many promotion to adopt the double discount method of impressing shoppers. I refer to the percentage discount that is (allegedly) applied to some of the products on sale, and the supposed 'extra' discount that's given to make the deals even sweeter. There is of course psychology involved here, and attempts to confuse thick cunts who might buy a sofa or table with chairs on the back of a misguided notion of getting the stuff for next to nothing.
I have seen in adverts so many discounts that are "topped up" by a further percentage reduction that I need to highlight the games being played. Why these cunts cannot simply declare a percentage reduction is beyond me. Actually, it's not, because they want to bamboozle people. A percentage discount followed by a further percentage discount is an example of diminishing benefit, not further equivalent benefit. Here is the maths, for the people in need of advice.
60% discount, plus a further 25% does NOT mean 85%, but 70%
50% discount, plus a further 20% does NOT mean 70%, but 60%
50% discount, plus a further 30% does NOT mean 80%, but 65%
50% discount, plus a further 50% does NOT mean fucking free!
It's all a load of shit, possibly two tonnes, but maybe four tonnes if there's an offer on!
...
No comments:
Post a Comment