1 - "You're a cross between Gordon Ramsay and Doc Martin." [Mrs MWSC to TMWSC]
2 - "I don't think Derek uses words - it's just a series of sounds." [Kez, ref Derek]
3 - "If he had a shadow, he'd be arguing with it." [Sue, ref TMWSC]
4 - "I don't smell newspapers." [Jess]
5 - "How do you expect to spot a fucking missile if you can't spot fucking teeth?" [TMWSC to Maria, the Royal Navy Warfare Specialist who was unaware of the prominence of the teeth on Cilla Black]
6 - "It looked like it could do more." [Kate, in Spain, regarding a cooked rabbit's leg which she thought had more springiness than a chicken leg]
7 - "Am I cold blooded?" [Kate]
8 - "He cuts quite a figure when he's in the distance, doesn't he?" [Aly regarding Derek]
9 - "Last time I had stitches but this time I've just got stereo strips." [Old woman on the phone in hospital]
10 - "I had a wee bit of a theory." [Derek, amusing us all]
11 - "Lucozade hydrates and fuels you better than water." [TV Advert - I should fucking hope so considering the price]
12 - "If you haven't got a simple core essence at the heart of what you're saying." [Camilla Harrison, rather overstating her point on Radio 4]
13 - "I don't think you need to Niagara-vate everything." [TMWSC to Harvey, with the tap running full pelt]
14 - "There's no point in having a phone 'cos cunts phone you." [TMWSC, after a machine cold call offering 36% saving on energy bills, rather than meant rather more generally]
15 - "We'll put in a bit of salty water; 'saline' as we call it in the trade." [Nurse, to Mrs MWSC]
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