So, we're a few weeks in and we have the usual mix of romance blossoming (or is that sex in hotels) and comedy triumphing (or is that thick people using smart phones to keep someone in who can't skate or dance?) while the judges argue and score using different criteria. The only thing we can all truly rely on is that Bleakley will be bleak.
Does anyone think Matt Lapinskas might win? I only ask this because he's a soap star with a dancing background. A quick review of past winners might suggest he's at a slight advantage.
2009 - Ray Quinn
2010 - Hayley Tamaddon
2011 - Sam Attawar
2012 - Matt Wolfenden
Yes, all soap stars and ex-soap stars with a dancing background. I suppose there's always a chance that Samia will keep the 'soap' link going without the 'dancing background' part. Anyway, the show starts in an hour, so we'll see what happens.
The Show
'School Disco Night' is a bit lame for a theme, and we were served a predictable routine from the contestants who were dressed in uniforms. I must say there was something creepy and slightly revolting about seeing Anthea dressed as a girl.
After the school stuff, Bleakley managed a wonderful comment when telling us what to look forward to.
"Expect dodgy hairdos, retro photos and fashions that were never in style." No change there then, Christine - just another normal week for you, eh?
Shayne & Maria
Tony Gubba: "A step sequence with body contractions."
Ashley Roberts: "I'm really excited."
Jason Gardiner: "It ended up being Living La Vida Loca Lock-in Syndrome."
Luke & Jenna
Luke: "At the end of the day it's about skating."
Jenna: "Luke tends to follow his own beat."
Tony Gubba: "A forward plank. A cheerleader pop."
Robin Cousins: "There were 35,000 rhythms but none of them were in the music that was playing."
Anthea & Andy
Anthea: "I was always in trouble for talking." [Shut the fuck up then]
Tony Gubba: "The Help Me Please catch."
Anthea: "Do you think Donny liked it?" [You sad trout]
Anthea was simply manhandled (poor chap) and so was picked up and put down again.
Keith & Olga
Tony Gubba: "The Gremlin from the Kremlin." [Keith's piss-take about Olga]
Tony Gubba: "The I'll Be There lift. The Cheggers Lift"
Gareth & Robin
Tony Gubba: "Whipping cartwheels,"
Ashley Roberts: "You're enjoying yourself and having fun; I'm excited for you."
Matt & Brianne
Tony Gubba: "The Towering Inferno lift."
Beth & Dan
Jason Gardiner: "This was an opportunity to show us your fun side but it appears as though you don't have one."
Jason was quite rightly trying to explain why he gave the marks he did, because whilst there was content, there was no 'performance' - the bit that is his main focus.
Joe & Vicky
Ashley Roberts: "Your Arabesque lines looked a little bit like a dog taking a wee."
Samia & Sylvain
Ashley Roberts: "Having fun." [Not the most original comment, I think you'll agree]
Yet again talk was dominated by the fucking 'headbanger'. The weird thing is I've never seen anyone bang their head.
The Result / Skate Off
Anthea: "I liked the end bit." [So did we, when it was over]
Keith wins and we say goodbye/good riddance/good-on-ya-judges. This woman talks far too much and gushes shit.
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