Change
Interview between a Youth Worker and a young male. The lad turned out to be more in need of help that could have been envisaged. The one-to-one counselling session was designed to establish what his personal needs might be, and it would hopefully lead to help being provided for day to day living issues. Here's a taste -
YW: "How do you cope with change?"
Lad: "I hate coppers, and 5p's are just as bad."
Priceless !
Work Colleague
TMWSC driving Junior to work. Conversation in the car turns to one of his co-workers.
Junior: "She comes to work dressed as a £10 whore."
TMWSC: "What do you mean?
Junior: "She wears massive heels, underwear hanging out and tons of make-up."
TMWSC: "Does she need much?"
Junior: "Well, she applies it with a roller . . . . "
TMWSC: "But is she pretty anyway?
Junior: "She looks like a foot."
What can you say to that?
Haircut
Old-school barber shop; TMWSC is sitting in the hot seat, and in conversation with the man with the clippers.
Barber: "This one chap moaned once about me talking! I heard from another customer that he'd apparently said the haircuts were all right, but that I talked too much."
TMWSC: "Well you've got to say something, or it would be a bit odd."
Barber: "I'd been cutting his hair for the thick end of thirty years, and that's all he had to say on the subject - that I said a bit too much!"
TMWSC: "A bit of a Victor Meldrew, then."
Barber: "Yes, exactly - he could certainly surpass for Victor Meldrew."
Wonderful word selection, eh?
Harassment
In the street, a woman in her forties has just left the shop, carrying a bag of groceries, and has to pass a group of kids, all boys aged 8-10. The boys are studying to be hopeless cases by loitering, and learning how to wear hoodies and annoy people. One lets out a loud wolf whistle . . .
9-year old: "Ere darlin', fancy a shag?"
Woman: "Obviously not - fuck off! I'm not your mother!"
Touché
...
No comments:
Post a Comment