There's far too much shite associated with the X-Factor phenomenon, and after a few weeks, we have arrived at the stage where the live performances are about to commence. What a 'journey' it's been to get to the last 16.
The auditions gave rise to some criticism, especially when Ceri was given a fourth go at trying to get through. The reporting of the situation was perhaps best handled by Poppy, 23, from Somerset - a 'Page 3 beauty'. I quote the details published in the Sun newspaper.
Poppy was saddened to see a vulnerable contestant exploited on the X-Factor. She said:
This kind of thing reveals some of mankind's worst traits. In the words of Mark Twain, "A man with a hump-backed uncle mustn't make fun of another man's cross-eyed aunt".
Clearly Poppy was so saddened that she got her tits out! Other forms of sadness were expressed by the contestants themselves, via tears, sniffling and lunacy. It seems that the ordeals of the many hopefuls require that they all cry before they've even been told they're shit. I am so fed up with the blubbering when they have in many cases not even been given the verdict. Is there anyone who's not sick of the following phrases?
This means the world to me
I want this so much
I've worked so hard
I want to prove that I can do this
I'm doing it for my family
I don't want it to end
I am so close now, and I don't want to go home
This is my dream
I've wanted this my whole life (all 16 years of it!)
I was born for this
All I want is to sing
I don't want to go back to [enter here any shit job/company/lifestyle/housing estate]
I want to make my family proud of me
I want to get girls
I want this more than anything
I won't let you down
It's so desperate, and embarrassingly naff for so many people to churn out the same cliches. So, after weeks of rather weak TV, what are we left with? It would seem that despite Louis having a sudden mental breakdown and choosing Goldie as one of his four to go through, she was the one to see sense and help him recover his dignity and judgement by withdrawing from the competition. What was he fucking thinking? Didn't Wagner teach him anything?
The categories pervert the course of entertainment. By this, I mean that we are forced to endure unnecessary performances by those who are in a shit group (more on that in a minute) or who are over twenty something (28 last year, and back to 25 this year). Yes, we have said goodbye to some talented singers (eg. Jade Richards) because there are too many good singers under 25, while some shit bands and oldies get put through for two or three more weeks of exposure. Why is it necessary to make us watch people who cannot and will not win, while better singers go home? Until the last 5, the contest is really all about "In what order will the others leave the show?" I would suggest to all those aged 24 who are thinking of auditioning next year, time it so you apply when you're 26; your slim chances will be improved five-fold.
I saw an article today saying that Jade is the new 'Gamu'. Unfortunately I could not see much of a link. Yes, Gamu lived in Scotland, but she was not a Scot; she was not Scottish, white, fat, and legally entitled to reside in a depressing environment, she was in fact African, black, small and technically an illegal alien. Still, it filled a paragraph in the paper.
The groups were so shit and poorly represented that, yet again, there was manipulation to create something out of nothing from the leftovers of the solo performers. The result of this manipulation was to creating fuck all out of not-a-lot, to the point where Tulisa had to distill even further and create what was hilariously called a 'super group' at the last minute, to make up a fourth act to mentor. The girls look strong and the boys are okay as well, although good voices have departed while Frankie gets to piss about because thirteen-year-old girls might vote for him. He can't sing, and just wants attention. Bands are shit. Louis is, as ever, trying to make the best of it. So, will Gary or Tulisa win?
Finally, is 16 too young to endure the trauma (Luke Lucas crying etc] and should the minimum age be raised to 18? Of course not. Oldies are generally crap, and will never get enough votes. The whole programme is engineered to entertain and interact with the youngsters who buy the music and bother to vote. For every 'worry' there are numerous examples of sixteen-year-olds managing rather well and gaining benefit from the experience. There are lots of eighteen-year-olds who are less mature than their birth certificates suggest they might be. I think the best way to help those with some susceptibility to cry is for the programme makers to finally decide to stop being cunts and give people a 'Yes' or 'No' within a couple of seconds! I am sick of the preamble, following by a statement that "I've made a decision" from a twat who is supposed to make a decision, and then after a couple of mind games and efforts to dehydrate the victim, it's a long wait to get the Yes/No. Stopping all that unnecessary shit is a better development than reviewing the age of contestants.
Heaven help us all. I will not be wasting £1.03 on any 'competition' entries, or money on calls/texts to actually vote. In any event, this competition is not about singing; it is 90% shit / spin / manipulation / stereotyping / marketing / bollocks / hype / controversy. In fact, there's a danger that there's more rationale behind 'Red or Black'! How many weeks will we have to watch Ms Brucknell perform and shake like she's being electrified when being given the result?
Here, Kitty Kitty . . . . . .
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