2.12.13 Various Points of Interest, Plus Naomi Campbell

Time To Cut Back

The latest scare tactic from the nanny state and those employed to have a say in how lives are lived relates to yet another cause of cancer.  Here's a direct quote from the latest advert being aired on ITV:

"The World Health Organisation classifies alcohol as a group one carcinogen; like tobacco and asbestos, it can cause cancer."

Oh well; it looks like I'll be giving up the asbestos then.


Look After Your Teeth

I was astounded to see a Colgate toothbrush advertised on TV at £80. Deciding this was a ludicrous price and certainly NOT an offer I'd be taking up, I looked in one of the Argos junk mail arrivals where I discovered a, 'Oral-B' version that has a RRP of £199.  WTF?  For a fucking toothbrush?  Utter madness.


Misuse and Abuse

To what am I referring?  The word 'Event', which seems to be the fashionable way to try and encourage us (particularly in the fashion world) to part with our money.  Adverts on TV seem to attempt to reinvent what an 'event' actually is. Rather than what it is, I will advise now on what it is NOT.

Debenhams - 25% off is a fucking sale, NOT an 'event'.

Wallis Fashion - your 'Flash Event' is a sale.  As for anyone wearing Wallis clothing and flashing at me, no thanks - you cater for rather older and bigger women.

Dorothy Perkins - your 'Pop Up Event' with 'Up to 30% off' is a SALE, not an 'event'.

Evans - your "Up to 30% off event' is simply a sale.


Signs of the Month - November

First Place
Near Hatfield, a sign that said, quite simply: "No Dumping".  I therefore had to hold on.

Runner Up
North of Stevenage, a sign that said: "Free Hardcore Tipping".  They like their gratuities in Stevenage, eh?


Pathetic Question of the Week

Dickinson's Real Deal provided an awful example, as follows:

"What is the traditional type of lively dance popular in Ireland and Scotland?
A: Jig
B: Jog
C: Jug

Fucking nobs!


No Need For The SS

The 'SS' sound is linguistically straightforward, and appropriate when a word is spelled with a double 'S'.  The very same sound is in fact appropriate for most instances of a single 's', with only the occasional 'sh' sound taking over (as in, for example, 'controversial').  There is absolutely NO NEED for a double 'S' sound to be emitted by a speaker when the word in use is 'Officiate', but the radio news reporter manager to tell me that "Kevin Friend will not be offissiating at the weekend".  TWAT.  It seems that after decades [stress on the FIRST FUCKING SYLLABLE] of fucking up the word 'negotiate' by replacing the 'sh' sound for the first 't' with 'ss', there is a move to have a go at the letter 'c' now.  Just as the 'Schutzstaffel' was a deplorable entity, use of an 'ss' instead of a 'sh' when pronouncing 'the letter 'c' is deplorable.


Blair, Books, Bollocks and Irony

I called in at Poundland on Saturday, and bought a 10 metre roll of brown paper for a quid.  I passed a shelf holding books, and noticed a strange selection on the top shelf.  The first three books were Alistair Campbell's diaries, with the chunky volumes each available as doorstops for a quid.  Next to these was Tony Blair's "A Journey".  So, these overpaid and self-obsessed politicians have rather less appeal than they'd suspect.  The other two books on the same shelf were "Serial Killers" and "A Fatal Strain".  I considered who might appreciate the humour of being presented with copies of A Journey and A Fatal Strain, and considered I had knowledge of no one who'd either find it funny or appreciate such a 'gift'.  The series of three weightier volumes from Campbell and A Serial Killer was equally discarded from my thoughts as a joke present, and there were no doors at home in need of stopping.


Naomi Campbell

Double Diamond

It seems she's been 'honoured' for her post-tsunami efforts at a Tea Ceremony in Japan.  This is the same woman who accepted blood diamonds from the ex-ruler of Liberia.  Hmmmm . . . I'd suggest the world would be rather better off without any input from NC in any respect whatsoever!  As an aside, "I am no diamond" curiously can be rearranged to 'DD Naomi Naomi'.


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