Sunday
The results show is apparently a slot where we, the viewers, are desperate to see past acts and 'celebrities' performing, despite the fact that most are little better (but often worse) than the contestants. This week is no exception. It made my skin crawl when Dermotitis hit me (do you see what I did there?) with the announcement that James Arthur would be singing. The wailing annoyance is someone who is never welcome; only if I were blind and stone deaf would I manage to copy without reaction. He is impossible to like, never mind listen to; hey, now there's a good title for an album if ever I heard one. Oh, it seems his marketing people are ahead of me . . .
Rebecca Ferguson is rather more acceptable to listen to, assuming I have a need to hear past competitors at all. The seven finalists then appeared to 'sing live', although I think it might have sounded better if they weren't breathing. The input from Tamera and Sam was horrendous! The shit song was made to sound so much worse than I thought it could sound. I know exactly what I'd like to 'Burn'.
Rebecca came on, and sang the most awful song I've heard for a long time, and sang it badly. This was a disaster. It's a shame because she has a talent but kept it away from us today. I hope, I hope, I hope, I hope she manages rather better in producing a better song to follow this one.
Dermotitis gave us a five minute warning. I considered that he was actually five minutes late with it, because I'd have avoided the Ferguson noise. The warning was not to give me notice to leave my sofa and avoid James Arthur, but to signal voting would be ending shortly.
In the advert break I heard a plug for Ferguson's album, and a rendition of the 'I hope, I hope, I hope, I hope' track that was rather better than her live version, but still concluded it is a naf song. Lily Allen warbled to animation rather than whined against a backdrop of twerking women. Yet another advert for a re-re-showing of all of the Harry Potter films was deemed necessary by ITV before we rejoined Dermot O'Dreary, who told us the lines were closed.
Mrs MWSC returned to the living room and groaned at having not missed James Arthur. "I took ages making that bed as well", she said, disgusted that her avoidance tactic hadn't worked. I am sure that the whinging and wailing and straining was unappreciated by gay rappers and everyone else that he's offended recently, but their disgust will have been a long way short of my own abhorrence at the self-indulgent fucking shitty noise. I trod on some Lego earlier this year and my wail was more tuneful than his outburst. His mumbling afterwards (which included an apology of sorts) was proof of no personality.
We went to a break, and there was a complete blackout on ITV, certainly in my region. After all that fannying around and waiting, just as the results were due, the signal went. The frustration was high, and in desperation I phoned the DIL - she gets her TV via Virgin - and apparently there was a message on ITV apologising to people in The North for the loss of signal. That's a cunting stupid message seeing as the people in The North who have no signal CAN'T READ THE MESSAGE!
Normal service was resumed at 9.15pm, leaving me to piss about and catch up. Back on ITV+1 (after a short dose of IACGMOOH) I was just in time to be fucking annoyed all over again with James Arthur's moaning and pleading and wailing and straining. I considered again his admission that he's made some "silly mistakes" and decided that he hasn't made any silly mistakes, but has fucked up by showing his true colours and getting his just desserts for being a twat.
ITVcut out again! The CUNTS at ITV displayed: "If you can see this it means legally we're not allowed to show you what was on earlier. We don't want you to miss out, so please switch to ITV. The CUNTS withdrew the service on +1, and sent me back to I'm A Celebrity, fifteen minutes after I aborted earlier. So, I missed some of IACGMOOH as well. CUNTS.
I caught none of the singing, just the result announced by Dermotitis between Tamera and Luke. Gary Barlow wimped out and left it to the public, who ejected Tamera, after her numerous let-offs.
Fucking ITfuckingV. I am concentrating on IACGMOOH now, and IACGMOOH Now shortly.
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