BBC
The repeats available on the BBC are at an awful and unacceptable level. The squandering of taxpayers' money is outrageous. The decent programmes are few and far between. The CIC have weird obsessions with certain themes and programmes, ramming them down out fucking throats. Wake up!
ITV
It seems there's as much that needs avoiding as there is that needs watching. Having just witnessed the atrocious Jonathan Ross fiasco at the comedy awards, seeing his face on trailers for the chat show is almost worse than the fucking chat show itself. It is easy enough to avoid the show, simply by looking at what time it is on (and the fucking repeat) and watching something else. However, his unwelcome appearance on screen for trailers is outrageous. His guests are not generally the problem - it's JR who is one self-obsessed problem!
Another example of trailers dumbing down my life has been provided by the plus for "Lucan". Every fucking ad break there is touting for something or other, and the number of trailers for Lucan meant I had no inclination at all to subject myself to it. STOP telling me, ITV, what to do with my life every fucking few minutes! It was probably a good programme but I am all Lucan-cunted-out. The touting does not stop, of course, after the first of the two episodes has been aired. Not at all; there's "Catch Up" touted, just before we are told when the second part is on.
This Week's Television
Sunday 15th
BBC1 10:00am - Fern Britton Meets Ken Dodd. Is this 'padding' or what?
BBC1 11.00am - Wanted Down Under. I feel the BBC missed an opportunity to combine the shows and send Fern Britton and Ken Dodd to the Antipodes. As long as they were both left there for good, that would have been no worse a use of licence payers' money than the short jaunt to South Africa by a Dimbleby.
BBC1 7.40pm - Sports Personality of the Year. 140 minutes of boredom containing repeats.
Channel 5 1.55pm - FILM: A Star for Christmas. My TV listing compiler felt it necessary to state that this is a festive drama.
Monday 16th
BBC2 7.00pm - Nigellissima - An Italian Inspired Christmas. Is this really going to be aired tomorrow? Surely the white powder on the Pannettone is not quite icing sugar? I suspect the perfect Christmas is not quite in place for this year, luv.
Tuesday 17th
BBC2 7.00pm - The Great British Sewing Bee Christmas Special. What the fuck is it about programme makers and their obsession with including "Great British" in programme titles? Last week I was exposed to The Great British Garden Revival and must say I didn't know the cunting thing was even underway!
BBC2 8.00pm - The Great British Christmas Bake Off. Fuck off!
Channel 4 9.00pm - Heston's Great British Food. Fucking fuck the fuck off!
ITV 3.30pm - Harry Potter and the Gonads of Treacle. Not sure if it's actually called that, but the incessant trailers have scrambled my brains. I am sure that yesterday afternoon, there was an airing of Harry Potter and the Librarian's Giblets.
Channel 5 3.15pm - FILM: Gifts for Christmas. My TV listing compiler felt it necessary to state that this is a Christmas drama. TWAT!
Wednesday 18th
BBC2 8.00pm - Food & Drink Christmas Special. "Festive culinary advice" is hardly a surprise, as a description for this tosh.
Thursday 19th
Channel 5 10.50am - Eddie Stobart: Trucks and Trailers. I thought all the trailers were over on ITV! The various 'Stobart' programmes are so dire that they are on the verge of being hilarious - but then become so tedious that you stick your head in porridge.
Channel 5 11.50am - Stobart: Trucks, Trains & Planes. More shit made to sound dramatic.
ITV 9.00pm - Live Celebrity Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? Predictable shit with predictable shits; Tarrant, Eamonn Holmes (again?) and Alex Ferguson, probably chewing gum.
Friday 20th
Channel 4 9.00pm - Big Fat Gypsy Weddings: Carols and Caravans. The obsession at Channel 4 with anything big, fat and gypsy like is so utterly pathetic, it comes as no surprise that there's a Christmas offering of this bollocks.
ITV Most of the fucking Day - Text Santa stuff. Predictable Phillip Schofield and Holly Willoughby present some shit, while the appallingly awful pairing of Christine Bleakley and Paddy McGuinness is likely to nauseate even Santa!
Trailers
Don't forget to look out for more Harry Potter favourites on ITV. Next Saturday, it's: Harry Potter and the Philistine's Deathly Bed Chamber.
On Sunday it's: Harry Potter and the Expired Tax Disc.
On ITV2 there's a showing of the 1975 forerunner to the JK Rowling series of books and films - Harry Potter and the Haynes Manual for the Austin Princess from Azkaban.
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