Well I'm glad that's over. I watched some of it purely out of habit. I suspect that's what TV channels now try to do - get you addicted so that your life is ruled by ritual. However, I did not fall into the trap and "missed" well over half of it, after the first show. Seeing the crew of wasters and has-beens, I yet again questioned the "Celebrity" tag that's included in the programme title. With Crissy Rock refusing to jump - even though she would be harnessed to an expert and there was hardly a risk associated with the parachute jump - I wondered why she'd been paid to 'participate'. The other nail in the coffin for this series was my gut feeling that Antony Cotton would be a fucking pain - and wasn't he just!
Unfortunately for Mr Cotton, his performance in the jungle has served to alienate himself with all the to-do about every fucking thing going. What a melodrama, what a fuss, what a right royal pain-in-the-arse. I have no idea how he lasted so long in the place, but it must be the Corrie fans who kept him in. Now, I like Corrie, and to date I have taken his character (Sean) at face value and accepted his contributions. Now, though, I have overdosed on him - he needs to do a Kym Marsh and fuck off on an imaginary cruise for 6 months, because in my view, Corrie needs to ditch him or lose viewers. What a waste of space.
Just to highlight the general air of excitement (sarcasm, I assure you) regarding the programme, here's a copy of the Sun listing for programme 10 of 19, something I spotted on 24th November.
10 of 19. Ant and Dec announce the results of the first eviction as one of the well-known faces is removed from the Australian jungle. Although most of the contestants will be dreading the thought of being the first to get the boot, leaving at this stage of the survival challenge may be a relief to others as they look forward to being reunited with loved ones.
What a complete load of cuntin' generic crap. I know whose face I'd have liked to rip off and remove from the jungle! "Reunited with loved ones" my arse. They're not Chilean miners.
Crissy Rock plans to release a fitness DVD, after losing a stone and a half in the jungle. Ha! Any ideas on how she lost that much weight? Yes, that's right, she was overweight in the first place, and when she was in the jungle, she ate less food. Fucking brilliant diet concept, that, eh? She apparently swapped her normal diet of pasties and sausage rolls for rice and beans, and smoked 10 fags instead of her normal 40. I've a better idea for a diet. Lock people up for a year at a time, and feed them just enough to keep them alive - bit like Steve McQueen in Papillion - and I have a sneaky suspicion that they'll lose weight.
I am so pleased it's over. What's next on the conveyor belt of shit TV. We've had series 11 of IACGMOOH; it must be time for fifteenth helping of some other form of cack, surely . . .
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