17.12.11 December Questions

The following have been troubling me for a while, and so I thought I'd share the issues on the basis that a problem shared is a problem halved.  Maybe you have answers for the following.

1. When Andre Rieu is playing the violin, why does he pull a face that makes him look demented, scary, crazy and quite possibly orgasmic in a disturbed way?
2. Why does the man on TV read out the lottery numbers?  Deaf people don't hear him; blind people who might want the sound and use the TV like a radio will not be able to see their ticket to check the numbers anyway.  Those without impairments get annoyed by the speed at which the cunt reads the numbers out, as they are ahead of him with their eyes.
3. (a) Is a Greg Wallace mouthful an imperial or a metric measurement?  (b) Is it true that a Greg Wallace mouthful is in fact equivalent to 0.77 litres, or 1.33 pints?
4. Why would it be right in anyone's eyes for a married couple to be happy with their names if the pair are - Colleen and Collin Collins?
5. Why have the makers of greeting cards pursued (obsessively) their desire to make each one just a little bit too thick to benefit from a normal charge for postage?  The 'relief' cards, with the extra tiny raised piece of card, or a bow or some other arty crafty shit are, when inside the envelope, minutely over the 5mm limit, and so demand a Large Letter stamp.
6. What is the "London Look" that Kate Moss keeps fuckin' going on about in adverts?

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