Everywhere you look there's a useless bit of information volunteered, when there's either no point in it being mentioned, or it's mind-numbingly low level detail. Here are just a few random examples:
TV Listings
8.00 MasterChef: The Professionals (24/24) The three finalists face their last challenge as they prepare a three-course menu for Gregg Wallace and Michel Roux Jr. The judges assess the hopefuls' efforts and decide who is the winner of the 2011 competition.
Let's just check the content here. "The three finalists face their last challenge" - well, if they're in the final, then I'd fucking hope there's not a further stage to the fiasco! As for the comments about what the judges do, well fuck me - I'd never have guessed that a judge in a cooking competition will, in the final, assess the efforts and then decide who the winner is. Cuntin' radical, this programme!
9.00 Motorway Cops Catch Us If You Can. Officers pursue a thief at the wheel of a high-performance car who risks a head-on collision as he drives the wrong way down a motorway, and track down a vehicle they suspect has been tampered with to avoid detection.
First of all, how on earth does a shitty cops programme get to be give a title? "Catch Us If You Can" my arse! I really needed to be told that the thief risked a head-on collision when he drove the wrong way down a motorway! I'd always wondered why more people didn't fucking do it, but now I know, and it's quite sensible not to do this, I've discovered. As for tracking down a vehicle that's been tampered with to avoid detection, the criminal is either useless at tampering, and hasn't done enough to avoid detection, or Bill & Ben will get nowhere when trying to 'detect'. Generally, this programme is pathetic.
8.30 Live Celebrity Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? Christmas Special Famous faces teaming up to play for their favourite charities, live and against the clock, with half their total winnings going to one lucky viewer at home. As ever, the celebrities will be hoping for a clear run at the questions but the lifelines are available to them if they get stuck.
Faces (not people) are teaming up, apparently. They are not dead, they're live! The last sentence is the most pointless, generic load of shite I could imagine being written, stating the cuntin' obvious. Also, the blurb is misleading; it suggest that if 'Mr Twat-from-a-soap' wins £50,000, half of it will be handed over to a viewer!
8.00 Kevin's Grand Design (2/2) Kevin McCloud and his partners start team-building exercises to boost community spirit, but there is trouble when the builders fall behind schedule.
Which part of "the builders fall behind schedule" is worth mentioning, or anything other than completely normal?
Newspaper Story [The Sun]
"A gay man who was beaten, set on fire and left to die trussed to a lamp-post may have been the victim of a homophobic attack." Unbe-fuckin-lievable deduction, eh? He was hardly the target for a prank by the best man the night before his wedding, was he!!!
Small Ads
Books Wanted Military, travel, etc, all subjects. Tel (0191) 4692414
I suggest that the "etc" element of the advert is completely out of place, and has for the first time since the printing press was invented by Gutenberg in 1440, been used to link Military and Travel in some sort of weird 'set' of themes that we should all be taking for granted, probably with a knowing nod. The fact that "all subjects" is then mentioned means that there was no cuntin' point in stating Military or Travel anyway!!!
Blaydon Carpets Stain Free Carpet from £3.99 per square metre. Expert Fitting Service
I certainly wouldn't want a carpet with a stain on it anyway!!! What purpose does the word 'expert' serve, I wonder?
Cross Bull Mastiff Pups 2 boys and 2 girls left, ready now, chunky pups, wormed. £200
If they are already cross, it's not a good sign for their future temperaments, especially for this breed!
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