Saturday 8 June 2013

8.6.13 Britain's Got Talent Final 2013: Get Ready!




Introduction

At last it's the final of BGT, and we will see eleven acts tonight, vying for top spot.  I suppose I may as well kick off with registering my amazement that the winner may very well be the Hungarian act - presenting a dollop of irony that could for many overshadow (see what I did there?) the competition.  Britain has long since lost control of its borders, its policies on immigration and its ability to organise a piss-up in any brewery, so having the favourite to win arriving by plane from Hungary seems totally compatible with everything about Britain.

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely loved the two performances from Attraction, and they would be worthy winners.  However, they should not be in the competition because they have no affiliation with the country; they are not British, but more importantly, in these mobile times, they don't reside here either.  On that basis, the whole idea of them winning is mad, and whatever Cowell does to try and boost their chances with his endorsement, Attraction should not actually be in this competition.  This is a view I expressed in April 2012, in a post on this blog when Hungarians also featured.  I've also learned that Attraction flopped in the Hungarian version of the programme, and the same happened when they appeared on Germany's Got Talent.  This touting around Europe makes national boundaries and national competitions pointless. If the show sees Attraction pronounced the winner, then in simple terms this will demonstrate that "Britain's Not Got Talent".

Still, they seem like the loveliest people and they do indeed have a unique talent.  Plus - they don't fucking sing.  There are far too many singers as usual, and even the excellent ones are largely boring.  I want to see something different, so that's why Attraction, Jack Carol and Francine Lewis are all of interest.

There will be nine commercial breaks, apparently of different length.  I know this because Ant & Dec sometimes announce that it's time for a "quick break" as opposed to a normal one.  There will also be the shit was of time listening to the details of the competition, some pointless recapping, and inane questions at various points, allowing the four judges to serve up some cliches, useless observations, more cliches and tell us how much fucking fun they've had.  We will no doubt also get some made-up words and claptrap from the four nobs with nobs, and the kids who should be in fucking bed will annoy the fuck out of me.

Well, I am Syco'd up, ready for the pain and the pleasure.

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