Saturday 1 December 2012

1.12.12 Exchanges



Scene One

At the drive through to McDonald's, TMWSC decided to order a breakfast, and pulled up to the intercom at the ordering point to speak to Ronald McDonald.

Ronald:    "Welcome to McDonald's; can I take your order please."
TMWSC:  "A sausage and egg meal, and I'll have an orange juice with that."
Ronald:    "Did you say no cheese with that?
TMWSC:  "What?  I never mentioned cheese."
Ronald:    "Sorry?"
TMWSC:  "I'd like a sausage and egg meal, please.  You'll say 'What drink would you like with that?' I'll say 'Orange juice please'.  I was trying to save you having to ask.
Ronald:    "Oh . . . . I see . . . . okay.  Is that everything?
TMWSC:  "I'll play safe and say Yes."
Ronald:    "£3.29.  Pay at the first window.

After this wonderful exchange with an awkward male adolescent, TMWSC moved around the corner to the first window, and caught site of an awkward male adolescent wearing a headset and confusing the person in the next car.  TMWSC considered that driving straight to the window and ordering from the girl next to him who was taking the money would have been easier and quicker. 

Girl:         "That's £3.29 please."

TMWSC hands over six coins, to the exact amount - £2, £1, 20p, 5p, 2p, 2p

Girl:         "That's spot on; if you'd like to make your way to the next window."

TMWSC felt duly prompted to move forward, but did not.  This seems to annoy the girl, who because agitated.  The quizzical and angry look was soon followed by a lurch forward, as she stuck her head through the flaps of glass and looked behind to see who was being held up and grossly inconvenienced by TMWSC.  Her head then swivelled to the right, where she saw that two feet in front of TMWSC's car was the rear bumper of a car whose driver had no doubt just placed an order and was queuing behind another car waiting at the dispensing window.

Girl:         "Ah."


Scene Two

In the courtyard one evening, in Spain, sitting around the table after dinner.  The conversation turns to language and comparisons between English and Spanish.  Derek (Scotsman) asks Senorita Lucy a question.

Derek:     "What's three-quarters, in Spanish?"
Lucy:       "More than half."


Scene Three

In the jungle, on "I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here", an exchange between the amusing Eric Bristow and the useless Helen Flanagan.

Helen:      "I'm really pleased I came here."
Eric:         "We're not - we're fucking starving."


Scene Four

TMWSC and Mrs MWSC are watching X-Factor from the sofa, and are struggling to endure the whining of Rihanna as she dishes out an awful performance of her new single, 'Diamonds'.  Towards the end, rain starts to fall on to the stage and over Rihanna, as she gets towards the heightened wailing and angst that is aparently warranted as she gets wetter.

Mrs MWSC:  "Isn't that an electrical hazard?"
TMWSC:       "You'd hope so, wouldn't you!"

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