9.7.12 Football Quotes of the Euros 2012

If the pundits and commentators are not talking rubbish, they are murdering the English language, and making sure they ignore all the rules of grammar.  No one ever 'raises questions' now, about any issue; it seems that there's a fad to 'raise question marks' instead!  There are so many tired phrases and metaphors that now seem compulsory for inclusion in the verbal nonsense.  I have ignored the most nauseating, which include a desperation to say (in respect of footballers kicking a ball around):

a)  He put in a shift
b)  He asked questions of him
c)  That was a good day at the office
d)  It was the icing on the cake
e)  He needs to make a change of personnel
f)   He had his pocket picked
g)  He'll be disappointed with that

This illiterate bunch of blokes is overpaid for what amounts to inane shit.  What leave the mouths of these people (at a phenomenal cost per word) is mind boggling.  Here is just a sample of the rubbish relayed to us during the Euro 2012 Championship.  In a few cases, I've included an explanatory note, although sometimes it's funnier to just read the words with no link to context.  If ever anyone needs a glimpse of the blindingly obvious, Shearer's the man to assist.

1 -    "You've gotta create chances and score goals to win games."  [Alan Shearer]
2 -    "Why can't he just pull the trigger, and shoot himself."  [Martin Keown, ref Nasri]
3 -    "Today's sheet is already stained."  [Commentator, ref Ireland conceding in 3rd minute]
4 -    "We haven't seen too much long balls in the competition."  [Mick McCarthy]
5 -    "The Greek physio doesn't seem to be at the forefront of medical science; he's come on with just a bottle of water."  [Commentator, ref Karagounis being kicked in the head by a Czech player]
6 -    "A journalist in Spain was asked who's Spain's main opponents now were."  [Gary Lineker]
7 -    "Let's give a lot of quality to the finish."  [Andy Townsend]
8 -    "He's got more of a freer role."  [Alan Shearer]
9 -    "When you get something as good as they are."  [Lee Dixon]
10 -  "Some footballers' body language give nothing away."  [Clive Tyldesley]
11 -  "It goes to a mini-league of three teams, or however many number are involved."  [Martin Brotherton]
12 -  "This would be a big question mark for me . . . . . there's a big question mark about that."  [Alan Shearer]
13 -  "A goal that raised serious question marks."  [Clive Tyldesley]
14 -  "I can't believe how leisurely the game is being played at."  [Martin Keown]
15 -  "He fluffed his lines, didn't he!"  [Martin Keown]
16 -  "The amount of times he got down the right side."  [Lee Dixon, avoiding the word "number"]
17 -  "Every live show and every highlights show are available on the iPlayer."  [Gary Lineker losing the plot over singular and plural]
18 -  "That was the face of Irish panic."  [Jim Beglin]
19 -  "He got in there a little bit too easy."  [Andy Townsend proving he doesn't know what an adverb is]
20 -  "It forced Spain into a game to which they're not familiar."  [Gary Lineker]
21 -  "Spain has swapped their rural retreat for . . . . "  [Has they indeed, Mr Commentator]
22 -  "You do feel sorry for him as the rains run down the back of his neck."  [Adrian Chiles, suggesting there are different types of rain targeting the Manager of the Ireland team]

To finish, here's a very short exchange between Martin Keown and Jonathan Pearce, with translations in orange, in case anyone is unsure on the meaning of 'experience'..

JP:    "He did go down like a sack of spuds."
MK:   "He used his experience, didn't he."  [He cheated]

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