The eyes of the world are on the UK and London, as we all prepare for the spectacle that will be the Olympic Games. On balance, I foresee a shite event that demonstrates to the world just how useless the UK is at pretty much everything. Let us look at the evidence so far.
Security
G4S may well be a massive company, and it certainly commanded a massive fee which should have meant some certainty about security for the Olympics. However, the policy of G4S was completely cuntin' flawed from the outset. To recruit the vast majority of the people needed to fulfill a contract in the last few weeks was an approach that was riddled with concerns. I contest that the company can only ever have been as good as the people it employs for any event, based on the business model adopted. If G4S is expecting us to believe that it's a great company, then it is fucked in the head, for its standing and credibility was always destined to be decided by the last minute rabble of students, unemployed (unemployable?) loafers and itinerants who'd be handed hi-viz vests and labelled as 'Security'. Sorry, G4S, but if you think an 18-year-old who is about to take a gap year before a Media Studies degree is a likely candidate for 'Security Guard of the Year', then there is much delusion in the boardroom. I am quite sure there will be very many dedicated people who'll want to work hard and do a good job. However, within the thousands of bodies labelled as 'Security' will be arseholes, cunts, thugs, nobs, and others who have masked criminal records, and the fact that they should probably not even be in the country!
G4S has been a complete fucking joke. The fact that the government can call upon armed forces personnel (or should that be 'Human Resources' in this fucked-up politically correct world? No - personnel will do fine!) is lucky, even if it is misappropriation of people whose lives are messed up by the fiasco. The cost of the G4S fuck-up and the input of police and those in the armed forces is one almighty joke!
Theresa May
Disgraceful performance. Theresa May (or May Not) be a nob whose abilities are more suspect than a grasshopper who claims to be able to jump trees. I suggest she's useless, and not up to the job, period/menopause.
Passports and Border Agency Workers
I see in today's papers that many on dodgy passports are gaining access to the UK, including potential terrorists. No real surprise there, then. This country fucked its ability to control its borders many years ago. The passport agency if fucked up beyond all recognition, and cannot cope. The cost of things might suggest a reasonable level of attention to maintaining security, but that's plainly wrong. As for the border agency staff, a threatened strike at the commencement of the Olympic Games is just mad, but oh so typically fucking British! I think that striking at this time should be outlawed. It is not as if there's any health and safety issue that would endorse the union to fight a just cause. So, crippling the process of checking and accepting guests into the country will be hampered to fuck. My heart doesn't go out to people who have the ability to wreck things, and unions are generally cuntish organisations, with leaders whose personal pay and package makes them so much better off than the workers they represent. When they get bored, these union leaders get agitated and are literally spoilling for a fight and a lengthy dispute.
Despite all my comments above, though, it beggars belief that the government has recently been issuing redundancy notices to people in the border agency's employ! How on earth can there be a need to cut back on staff just at the time when the country needs the biggest input on security, and the highest level of vigilance. This country is seriously fucked-up !!!
Travel
So, we have awful congestion alongside lanes that will be used to 'whisk' athletes to and from venues. Poor Londoners, whose lives will be fucked up for many weeks, while 'hopefuls' are ferried around to events. The capital city is a complete mess, and yet there are those who seem to persist in stating just how wonderful everything is! Madness. Like swimming through a swamp of shit, getting around will be traumatic, and distasteful.
Tickets
The farce regarding ticket sales is an embarrassment beyond belief. The price of tickets is criminal. The availability of tickets has been pathetic. The means for payment to be made (what with VISA being the official sponsors and this effectively 'trumping' other options) was a fucking disgrace. There are loads of unsold tickets, corporate cuntism, and catastrophic marketing methods. The tickets themselves were of course printed in the USA (as per a blog post by me some time ago) and flown to the UK for distribution.
Merchandise
You would have to be seriously stupid to buy anything with the official logo on, at the official price.
The fact that 95% of everything has been made outside of the UK says everything you need to know about how fucked up everything is!
Food & Drink
The catering arrangements and security measures that include limiting people's ability to carry with them food and drink are preposterous. The high prices for stuff on sale at venues mean bankruptcy for most, after individuals have been denied their human rights, and the system gives a licence to retailers rip off anyone wanting to carry on breathing. You'd be cuntin' mad to join in with this bollocks.
Ceremonies
Whether it is the opening ceremony, or the closing one, I fear for the nation's credibility. If we are to 'celebrate' British culture, will Danny Boyle be including a mock-up of a dole office, and will a social security queue be portrayed? With the benefits culture being by far the most successful and prevalent aspect of 'Britishness' these days, it would be misleading not to take this into consideration. I read a few weeks ago that the closing ceremony will include further celebrations of British identity, and include shit like Paul McCartney singing, and a load of other bollocks that I'll no doubt comment on in due course - once the organisers have actually come up with what is going to be done. I fear, though, that fashion will be included, and read that Kate Moss will be involved (hopefully not in any infomercial that demonstrates drug taking) along with Naomi Campbell. The latter's ability to promote Britain might seem rather questionable to anyone with a brain, or skin, or competence in any one of five senses, and I will simply mention four things: blood diamonds; anger management; greed; lunacy.
Football, for example
There are some stupid inclusions in the Olympics, regarding sport. Tennis has four Grand Slam events, and the supposed top one, Wimbledon. Football has the World Cup. Why the fuck do these sports get included in the Olympics at all? Farcical, really! I saw Stuart Pearce being interviewed after Team GB lost to Brazil in the warm-up friendly last week. The Brazil team simply didn't try very hard, but won anyway. Pearce's Pointless Players were woeful in the first half, and acceptable (just) in the second half. He was able to trot out the pathetic and tired statement of 'taking the positives' afterwards, while chewing gum. That's the height of bad manners - chewing cuntin' gum while being interviewed! Deplorable, Pearce! Just because questions were being asked by Jacqui Oatley (the BBC's token non-studio woman) doesn't mean you can show that level of discourtesy.
Many sports included are not even sports. So, there's an overall mess created. Token efforts are made by countries to provide players to try and win a medal that's actually worthless in terms of international standing, world ranking or team performance. Then, there are gongs for those whose ability to 'shove a ha'penny', or 'balance a ping pong ball on their nose' is testing credibility! Mad, eh?
Seven Years
We have had many years to prepare for this event - seven actually. Okay, we started building some arenas and the stadium, but overall, we've fucked it. I hate the "Team GB" reference, I hate the kit - is there anything that a McCartney can't fuck up? - and the greatest annoyance that will be rammed down my throat for weeks to come will be the incessant chasing through the schedules of any chance of seeing a GB competitor doing something useful, rather than a quest to relay good performances. Excitement in a race between eight will be belittled if there is no GB competitor in the line up, and we'll be switching to Weymouth instead to see a fat schoolteacher in a dingy fellating her partner while tacking and trying to scape a bronze medal before he (her partner) comes first (I'd say forgive the innuendo, but I don't want your forgiveness).
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