1st Place - "I have that Eastenders bird as this year's sack of tatties" [Commenting on Laila's inclusion in the line-up for Dancing On Ice]
2nd Place - "Who's Beau Parl?" [Not quite in sync, with no awareness of the Bhopal disaster]
3rd Place - "I can't believe you ever tried a samosa, especially as it's a triangle" [To TMWSC]
4th Place - "If Liam was on Guess Who and someone says 'Does he have a beard?' you wouldn't flick him down" [Arguing over what length of facial hair constitutes having a beard]
5th Place - "It constitutes a beard when it's off the face" [Further clarification]
6th Place - "Men have bladders like camels" [Meaning men can store loads of liquid]
7th Place - "You'd be constantly looking at people's exhausts, you're that low down" [Explaining why she would never want to own a sports car]
8th Place - "Effin boom!" [Text message, after Middlesbrough scored against Sunderland]
9th Place - "You going on a bin run?" [To TMWSC, referring so putting a carrier bag of kitchen waste into the dustbin by the back door - hardly a momentous escapade worthy of being called a 'Bin Run']
...
Jess is the funniest person who doesn't know it.
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