It's late in the evening, around 11pm, and before the late film starts, hunger pangs arrive.
Mrs MWSC: "Ooh, I fancy some soup; do you want some?"
TMWSC: "Yes please."
Mrs MWSC: "Game?"
TMWSC: "I am if you are!"
Much laughter ensues
Physique
At a private party, the music is playing and dancing is in progress. Daughter-in-law and TMWSC look on.
JESS: "My rule is you don't wear a dress like that if you're that shape."
TMWSC: "My rule is if you're that shape, you don't leave the house."
Beards
TMWSC is in the kitchen, drinking Bulmers Cider from a bottle. Mrs MWSC instantly responds to the comment in a completely matter-of-fact way.
TMWSC: "The trouble with having hair on your face is it gets in the way."
Mrs MWSC: "It's why I shave, luv."
Argos Pointless Question
TMWSC is in the queue, ready to approach the till at Argos, and order some lights.
TMWSC: "Treble zero, nine hundred, please."
Till Operator: "Is that a reservation number?"
TMWSC: "Yes." *
* TMWSC resists the urge to say to the woman: "It is quite clearly a reservation number, you numbskull, because reservation numbers are six digits long, whereas every fucking item in the catalogue is given a unique seven digit reference number, with the first three denoting the department, which is never treble zero" and instead waits for her to ring up the sale.
Till Operator: "Two ceiling lights at £9.99?"
TMWSC: "That's right" (holding out a Twenty-Pound note)
Till Operator: "Do you want to put that on an Argos Card today?"
TMWSC: An incredulous shake-of-the-head is given
TMWSC leaves the till, trying to work out why the thick twat asked if he wanted to put the £19.98 on to an Argos Credit Card when he was waving a £20 note.
Poundland
At the till, TMWSC has presented a basket containing six items, each for sale at £1.
Till Operator: "Can I interest you in a multipack of Kit-Kat bars today?"
TMWSC: "No!"
What the fuck is it with people upselling?
...
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