The world has gone mad, and has been 'scripted' by the CIC. It is now impossible to have an exchange or conversation with any fucker who might be serving you without their provision of a pissin' catchphrase. The "Have a nice day" wish from an airhead at the McDonald's hand-over-of-the shit-food window has been surpassed. I was 'ordered' by a glum-faced minimum wage worker three weeks ago to be pleased with my lot in life, through the instruction, "Enjoy your meal", but it was said in a tone which conveyed no goodwill at all.
I bought a lottery ticket today. I asked for "Two lucky dips for tonight, please", thinking this was succinct, accurate and easy to comprehend. But the inhabitant of the kiosk still insisted on further discourse, asking "Is that plus five". I refrained from the appropriate retort of "No, you fucking stupid cow, because if I'd wanted that, I'd have handed over more than two pissin quid and would have asked for the plus five shit!", and simply said 'No thanks' which I believe proves I am socially equipped to handle whatever life throws at me.
On Friday, in Leeds, I looked at the McDonald's menu board while the person at the till looked at me considering my options. I then made his day by providing him with my order. It was rather insulting that he considered I needed a pointless fuckin' prompt, because "Is that a large meal?" had no business being mentioned, as I'd have asked for a cuntin' large meal if I'd wanted one!
"Is that everything?" is a pointless comment when I have clearly got fuck all else to put on the miniature conveyor belt! The call centre employee at my bank was dumbfounded when I asked him if he knew any reason why one of my radiators seems not to get as hot as the others. Well, he did ask me, "Is there anything else I can help you with?" after we had concluded our business regarding the single thing I'd called for.
There's really no answer to all of this!
NB: CIC - Cunts In Charge
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