2.5.12 My 2.22 Sausages

The cuntin' Co-op is at it again; ripping off customers.  This retailer is the most schizophrenic of the lot, because for every one really good deal within its stores it has 82 fucking rip-offs.  Co-op is an abbreviation for 'Champions On Over Pricing', but I prefer to call it the Cunt-op.

Anyway, we all know that sausages come in eights, and weigh a pound.  I'm not talking about the fancy ones in trays, and cardboard sleeves that explain why the contents are worthy of the £4 price tag (usually to do with the inclusion of a bit of apple, or some green herbs, to replace a bit of the sawdust).  Nor am I talking about Richmond sausages, which are technically not sausages at all, whether skinless, spineless or meatless.  I am talking about normal sausages.  1lb of pork sausages, eight of them, in a string, usually slightly squared-off because they have been squashed together.  This last aspect means it's easy to stop them rolling around the frying pan.  So, you know where I'm coming from.  The most recent packaging for sausages from all the supermarkets is the waxy paper that you cannot see through, and on the outside there's usually a colour-coding to distinguish Pork from Lincolnshire from Cumberland etc.

I opened the packet of sausages (pork) purchased from the Cunt-op and my first thought was that the packet seems rather less 'solid' than usual, and that the sausages seemed to have room to move a bit more than usual.  This was duly explained when I realised the cuntin' packet contained 6 sausages!

I checked the front of the wrapping and saw that there were indeed supposed to be six sausages within - a fact that was given little prominence, with writing small enough so that a casual glance would suggest it was an '8' and not a '6'.  A double-check of the weight confirmed 340g and not the 454g that it should have been.  The cunts at the Cunt-op have re-designated the means for offloading pork sausages, and now it's six at a time.  Junior was expecting our shared packet to mean he'd get four, but we had to settle for three each.  What with the product actually consisting of 74% pork, it actually mean a true figure of 2.22 sausages each, at the full pork equivalent.

Before I sign off, I would like to suggest a change to the ludicrous claim written on the side of the Cunt-op delivery lorry [ Driving Responsibly to Reduce Emissions ] so that it announces: Packaging Sneakily to Reduce Contents

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