22.5.12 Deliveries

There is no way of knowing the order in which the following two things occurred, and so whilst one is labelled 'Scene 1' and the other 'Scene 2', this should not be taken as the running order of events today.

Scene 1 - Parcel Delivery

In the house are TMWSC, Mrs MWSC, Junior the Elder and Junior the Younger.  Further, Larry is in attendance, and being a Basset Hound, he has the propensity to be the loudest of all those in the property.  For the reasons of completeness, I will also note that Jimmy (the canary) is present.  The following exchange took place (allegedly) at 12.18pm.

Interlink Driver:  " . . . . "

There you have it, the sum total of the input from someone apparently charged with delivering parcels.  Yes, with a car in the driveway, windows open, and every reason to know that the house was inhabited, the driver chose to post a card through the letterbox of the back door and not knock.  If he had knocked, then one of the four humans would have heard.  Whilst Jimmy might not have chirped, it is likely that Larry would have barked, because it's in his nature to do so when any cunt makes a noise at the back of the house.  The "attempted delivery" (yes, I know, the attempt at delivering was more feeble than a butterfly collector's ability to snare a rhinoceros) was supposedly made at 12.18, when myself, Mrs MWSC, Junior the Elder and Larry were all in the room nearest the fucking back door!  This is possibly the same twat who left a card at the locked side gate two weeks ago, ignoring the 13ft wide black gates to the property, which could only have been missed by a blind cunt who shouldn't have been driving a van!


Scene 2 - Bone Delivery

In the house, in the room nearest the back door, are TMWSC, Mrs MWSC and Junior the Elder.  TMWSC is holding a shirt on a hanger, telling Junior that it's brand new and would fit him if he wants it.  Larry enters the room.

TMWSC:    "It's a fifteen and a half inch collar.  AARRRRGGGGGG!  FUCK!"

TMWSC hops around on one foot, shocked to fuck that his toes on the right foot have exploded in pain for no apparent reason.  Larry hides under the desk, and looks sheepish - if Basset Hounds can look like sheep.

Mrs MWSC:  "Ahh, poor Larry."
TWMSC:       "Poor my fuckin' toe!!!

Junior the Elder pisses himself, as TMWSC hops and swears, Mrs MWSC looks at Larry, and Larry looks sheepish.  Elsewhere, Junior the Younger runs in from the hallway, and Jimmy tweets (not on twitter, but literally).  Elsewhere, somewhere around this time [plus or minus 10 minutes], a card is falling from the letterbox to the hallway floor.  A bruise appears on a toe, and it seems a vein has been caught.  The cause of the injury was a bone being dropped by Larry.  Orininally, the bone was indeed large - not so much a 'bone' as a 'Woolly Mammoth's hip joint' -but Larry split it last week, and one of the components was brought to the foot of TMWSC - and then dropped.

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