2.4.12 March Quotes of the Month

General Quotes

1st Place - "I've got the posture of a fucking oaf."  [Leanne, complaining of an aching back]

2nd Place - "It's been a menagerie of amazing action."  [Brendan, on Coach Trip]

3rd Place - "I didn't give a time, I just said 7-ish."  [Sue, with a rather contradictory outlook!]

4th Place - "An 'Ob Nob on a bit of twine, and he'd go for ever."  [TMWSC commenting on Harvey's endurance abilities, but with an alternative to carrot and stick]

5th Place - "I thought my bum was bleeding."  [Jess, upon discovering with some relief that the toilet paper was slightly pink in colour]

6th Place - "This pentathlon is loaded with some seriously decent athletes."  [Commentator on Channel 4, commenting on some women competitors, and not being too clear on what he meant by 'seriously decent']

7th Place - "That's like Boo On Ice, isn't it!"  [Mrs MWSC, ref Chemmy's performance, comparing it to our overweight Bassett hound]

8th Place - "There are always headline grabbing stories."  [Someone being interviewed on Radio 4, who probably meant 'attention grabbing headlines' (?)]

9th Place - "Which could have altered the suspect to police activities."  [Newsreader on Radio 4, who read our 'altered' rather than 'alerted' but was totally unaware of the nonsense he'd relayed]

10th Place - "We each brought something to coach the others to the table."  [Chemmy, on Dancing On Ice, talking shite]

Bonus Football Related Quotes

1  -  "It's raw and throaty and wholesome"  [Commentator getting carried away, and commentating on the singing of Chelsea fans]

2  -  "Sian Massey gets the exact decision right."  [Lee Dixon murdering the 'exact' English language]

3  -  "Ashley Young, with a goal from the very top drawer."  [Match commentator introducing the concept of multiple top drawers from which players are now able to collect and use goals, and confirming how this particular one was obtained from the very top drawer - and there I was, thinking that the top drawer is exactly that, the top drawer]

4  -  "Experimental or not, getting beat at Wembley is disappointing.  Have we slipped that far behind other teams that people now accept getting beat so long as we show some pride?"  [Michael Owen, showing rather expertly how to avoid the word 'beaten', and sound thick in the process, via Twitter]

...