I thought I'd blow a hole in the Colgate adverts for ProSensitive, and the cunningly crafted wording used by those who seemingly endorse the product. Professionals in the dental field sit in front of a camera and try to create a matter-of-fact style to relay details about Colgate's goo-in-a-tube, and come across as totally normal and reasonable. After some shit acting, where the dentist becomes my best pal as I lap up the fantastic insight I've been fed on plaque, acid erosion, tartar and sensitivity, I am in a state of awe at the science bit that helped me understand why Colgate is the answer to my dreams. At the end of everything, the voiceover bloke tells me that "Nine out of ten dentists would recommend it." Whoaaaa . . . . . Hold up !!!
"Would" ??? 9/10 would recommend it. That does not mean they do recommend it, not at all. It means, grammatically and so probably in reality as well, that they would recommend it - if they had to? If they were asked? If it was demanded of them? If aliens landed and Bankers became popular again? If they could be arsed? If, if, if . . . . but the point is the advert does not confirm that they actually do recommend fucking anything, just that they would. I would recommend washing one's car. I don't wash mine though. I would recommend breathing in glue. That's right - if someone gave me a million quid in cash, I would recommend people sniff glue. If they are silly enough to take notice and do it, more fool them. Meanwhile, I'd have a million quid. Hmmm . . . . I'd better get some Colgate ProSensitive; I wonder what the dentists get paid?
Before I go, I heard an advert today for Colgate where a stupid female uttered "The bacteria was all gone" without a care in the world, advocating Colgate as the saviour of the planet. Alas, not the saviour of the English Language, though.
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