Tuesday, 3 April 2012

3.4.12 Grammar Issues

Everywhere you look, you will find annoyance, should you be one whose outlook on life requires those who speak or write to do so properly, and with correct grammar.  Here are some examples from March.

1st March in The Sun
"BMW are the official transport of the Olympics."  What utter shit.  BMW is not plural, so the 'are' is of course pathetic, but a perfect example of the most common dumbing-down of the English language.  Now, if the sentence started with "BMWs", ie more than one of the fuckers, then it would help make sense of the mess.  Shifting from the company BMW to the cars themselves means 'are' is correct.  In fact, that's the only way it could begin to work, because the company BMW is a company and so can't be the transport!  The writer could have meant BMW to be plural, just like 'geese'.  If so, what a pillock!

TV Advert for O2
"O2 has been thinking about their customers."  Well, it started off properly by saying 'has' instead of 'have.  But before I had time to be impressed, the sentence went wrong with 'their'.  Who are they, then?  The company is an 'it' - not masculine or feminine, just an entity; it is a company, and I suggest that while it has not been thinking about its grammar, it may have been thinking about its customers.  Or, "the workers at O2 have been thinking about their customers" would allow a 'their'.

Welsh Rugby
The Six Nations competition brought us some good rugby, but not grammar.  Commentators are commonly dire, as evidenced by "We'll now see what this Welsh team are made of", which matches the singular 'team' with the plural 'are'.  It would be just as logical for the same commentator to "see what all the teams is made of", considering there's no grammar involved now.

10th March - Daily Mail
On the front page, I read: "A trio of top bankers are being lined up for pay packages worth a total of £42million.  "A trio are . . .?"  That's no better than "Some trios is . . !"

None of Us
"I'm going out with three guys and none of us are having sex" was the headline for an article in The Sun.  "None of us is", dearie.

One In A Million
These are the odds of The Sun ever printing a paper without grammar fuck-ups.  "1 in 3 teenage girls have faced sexual violence from a boy they knew.  1 in 6 boys also say they have been the victims of sex related violence."  The clue in each sentence is the number one - fucking singular!  So, one in three HAS, one in six HAS.  There's not even consistency in the errors.  You'd expect the first sentence to refer to 'boys' rather than 'a boy'.  In the second sentence, 'victims' is used instead of 'a victim'.  It should actually be "from a boy she knew".

MSN
Even the information on my PC is flawed.  The MSN page stated: "But that's not the only reason the movie version of Suzanne Collins' novels are causing a storm."  The core of this sentence clearly demonstrates the error; "The movie version are causing a storm".  Bollocks!

Disaster in The Sun - 21st March
"A British family are gearing up to survive a global disaster."  British families are / A British family is, you thick cunts.

Fleets
On TV I watched and listened; the pictures were okay, but the narration was poor.  It included reference to a fleet of boats in a Cornish village.  "The fleet struggle" and "the fleet are grounded" but it's a singular noun, albeit a collective noun.  Fuck off to sea, and don't come back!

Steve Wright
Even on Radio 2 we get drivel.  "Morph is set to appear on TV 35 years after he first made his debut."  35 years after he first appeared, or 35 years after his debut, but not after he first made his debut (or his first debut, for that matter)!

Doctor, Doctor
On Radio 4 I listened to a doctor talking about the marvels of aspirin, and its qualities as a "preventive" drug.  You twat, you pompous nob, you illiterate shit - or am I being unfair and rather argumentive!

BGT
Ant managed a fuck-up on Britain's Got Talent (now that's a contentious claim, in my opinion) when he came out with: "As each act prepare . . . . "  Sorry, Ant, but that's just pathetic, and there's no escape by claiming immunity because of you accent/dialect.

Apostrophes
This deserves a whole section of its own [note that I DID NOT put it's] but just to highlight one of the many issues with these little marks, I visited a website selling clothes, and saw on the advice notes from the retailer reference to childrens' clothing and mens' fashion.  Obviously you've spotted that children and men are plural so the apostrophe goes before the 's' in each case. 

That'll do for a while.

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