Friday 5 December 2014

5.12.14 I'm A Celebrity


We are down to the last four, after the departures of Kendra (6th place)  and Tinchy (5th place) today.  I was expecting Kendra to be one of the so-called celebrities to be told to leave, but was hoping Mel would be the other one.



Melanie Sykes

I am afraid that I have tired of Melanie Sykes and her whining voice just as much as the "Eeuuuuu" and "Oh my gaaaarrrrrddd" sounds coming from Kendra every couple of minutes.  Alas I will have to endure her moaning and flustering over things at meal times for at least another day.

I have lost interest in who will win; Edwina Curry, Jake Quickenden, Carl Fogarty and Melanie Sykes can fight it out - hand to hand combat would be good.  A Hunger Games take on things would most certainly boost ratings.

IACGMOOH is set to end this weekend, and that will suit me after the marathon three weeks.  [As an aside, I notice that the abbreviated name is an anagram of I'M A GOOCH.]  After such coverage on ITV, I am due a break from fucking Iceland adverts.

A standard 90 minute serving of IACGMOOH contains no fewer than 5 advert breaks (minimum) and with the sponsor having the chance to annoy us all at the start and end of every break, as well as at the start and end of the programme, we get 12 fucking helpings!  Peter Andre needs to find something to do that does not lead to his presence on screen.

On the point of adverts, and incessant disruption to the broadcast, it is criminal that at some points, there is no more than five-and-a-half minutes of actual show between breaks!  Further, I reviewed the timings on a show this week, with the following findings.

TV schedule showed 90 minutes.
Opening credits = 1 minute
Time lost at the end, ahead of the following programme = 3 minutes
Advert breaks = 24.5 minutes
Competition bollocks = 1 minute
Reminders of the numbers for voting = 2 minutes
Time left for the actual programme = 58.5 minutes, or 65%

So 35% of the show doesn't actually fucking exist!  As for the offer to join in with Iceland Bingo at the very end, WTF?  Surely the company should be concentrating on food; serving up something edible might actually be a better focus.



WTF?  Bingo?

I suspect I will not have the inclination or energy to post anything else regarding the programme.  Other than the fact that the show should be renamed I'm Not A Celebrity But I'm In Here Anyway.

The sister show to IACGMOOH is of course much better than the show itself. The "Now" version on ITV2 provides quite a few laughs, with Joe Swash, Rob Beckett and Laura Whitmore proving an entertaining trio.  Sadly Matt Richardson is thought to be 'funny' by the commissioning editor when he should of course not have had a space on the show for the last few days.


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